Can't Buy Me Love - The Internet Movie Transcriptions Database

can't buy me love

Love

can't buy me love

I'll buy you a diamond ring

my friend

If it makes you

feel all right

I'll get you anything

my friend

If it makes you

feel all right

'cause I don't care

too much for money

Money can't buy me love

I'll give you all

I've got to give

If you say

you'll love me too

I may not have a lot to give

But what I got

I'll give to you

I don't care

too much for money

Money can't buy me love

can't buy me love

Everybody tells me so

can't buy me love

No, no, no----no

Say you don't need

no diamond rings

And I'll be satisfiied

Oh, thank you. Thank you.

Thank you so much.

No, no, no.

I'm on a diet. Thank you.

--I don't care

too much for money

-- [ Engine Approaching ]

Money can't buy me love

Owwww

[ Girl Shrieks ]

My hair is such a mess!

What about my clothes?

-- Yuck. Girls.

-- [ Girls chattering ]

-- We're so bad.

-- We're so cool.

Mess with us,

you'd be a fool.

--Um, we've got the school----

-- No.

We've got the teams.

We've got the class.

-- Uh, uh----

-- But on the field,

we'll kick your ass!

-- Hi, girls.

-- My mom's gonna freak.

She is.

Hi, guys!

Wait 'til you see this

new dress Cindy bought!

-- It is to die for!

-- You're gonna love 'em!

-- My credit card, please.

-- Yeah, yeah.

Here they are.

In my pocket. There.

Cindy, I thought I said

only the Neiman Marcus card.

But, Mother, school

starts on Tuesday.

Cindy, this is what I'm

talking about: responsibility.

Honey, you're a senior now.

Why can't you be more mature

like the Miller boy, huh?

[ Gasps ]

-- [ Engine Backfires ]

-- That's okay.

Oh, Mother.

Get serious.

-- ""Get serious''?

-- Wipe out!

Oh!

No, no, no----no

Say you don't need

no diamond rings

And I'll be satisfiied

Tell me that you want

the kind of things

That money just can't buy

I don't care

too much for money

Money can't buy me love

--can't buy me love

-- Chuckie.

--Love

-- Chuckie, Mom told you to

stay out of the tree house.

-- It's dangerous. Now, get down.

-- Oh!

Listen, I think that the girls

are gonna have a little

difficulty with that one...

-- Well,you know----

-- step, because of

with the arms up----

I think we should

make it a little harder,

so they have a hard time.

My God, you are such

a bitch sometimes.

No, listen. It doesn't matter

if they know the whole routine.

We have to look for rhythm.

-- [ Phone Ringing ]

-- That's true. I'll get it!

[ Ringing Continues ]

Hello! Cindy Mancini.

Put on Channel Five!

Bobby's on! Thank you.

-- Are you serious?

-- Oh, my gosh!

-- You gotta be a little homesick.

-- It is Bobby.

-- Let me ask you.

-- Great.

What's the one special thing

you miss most about

the old hometown?

-- Cindy's name on TV!

-- Mind if I get

a little personal?

-- Whoo--oo!

-- What I really miss the most...

always made me feel so good

after football practice.

-- You're so lucky, Cindy.

-- I miss that hydro massage machine...

back in the old

high school gym.

Well, the old high school

misses you too, Bobby Hilton.

Good luck with the Hawkeyes.

-- Stocky Jones----

-- Cindy.

Hey, you guys, it's no felony.

Come on. I mean, he's got a lot

on his mind, right?

-- Oh, yeah.

-- Football and everything.

Yeah. Okay.

-- Look, we're late, okay? Let's go.

-- Yeah.

Go!

[ Giggles ]

[ Engine Revving ]

Five, six, seven, eight.

-- And one, two, three, four,

five, six, seven, eight.

-- [ Whistle Blows ]

--[ Dance Pop ]

-- One, two and four.

--[ Girl ]

Whoo!

--I can't take this anymore

Hit seven, hit eight.

All right! Ha, ha,!

Okay, good stuff!.

Five, six, seven, eight.

And one, two, three, four,

fiive, six, seven, eight.

--come on,you guys.

come on!

-- [ Whistle Blows ]

Arms up. Yes!

Whoo!All right.

Lookin'good.

Keep smilin'. Let's go!Yeah.

One, two, three, four,

five, six, seven----

Hey, Ronald!

Thought you were gonna

meet me in the library.

Buy your telescope yet?

You better soon, or

you're gonna miss the sale.

A thousand dollars

is grand larceny as it is.

-- What? Are you worried

about the capital outlay?

-- No, I was just thinking...

about the cool clique?

Why would you be thinking

about them? They're certainly

not conscious of us.

That's my point. Wouldn't you

like to hang with them?

You have been hanging

on Cindy Mancini's lawn

for what? Five years?

I bet she doesn't

even know your name.

You got a crush on Cindy?

-- Huh?

-- No.

Well, most living organisms do,

but she's way out of our league.

--She's even out of their league.

-- Okay, freeze! Good!

All right.

Looked good, both of you.

-- It's fun.

-- Oh, good. Look, here comes

the sleaze master himself.

Lovely ladies. Miss Mancini.

--Lookin'good.

-- Thank you.

Like I knew you would.

-- Why don't you take

a shower, Quint?

-- A cold one.

-- Yeah, defiinitely.

-- Ten seconds flat

in full pads, yeah.

-- All--state this year, no question.

-- No question!

[Whispers ]

Tell 'em about the party.

Uh, hey, guys.

Back--to--school party at my place.

-- Cool!

-- I'm there.

I'm thrilled.

Check it out, dudes. New recruits.

Being a senior's gonna be

a beautiful thing.

I can taste it now, man. Hold my pad.

This is supposed to be

the biggest year of our lives.

The prom, parties, homecoming.

We're supposed to have memories.

Memories?

We'll have plenty of memories.

Yearbook committee, video parlor,

card games on Saturday nights.

Cards are for retards.

[ Laughs ]

I'm sorry.

I didn't mean it that way.

We do have a lot of great memories.

But be honest.

Wouldn't you like to be popular?

And have to be in a clique? No!

What happened to us?

We were all friends in elementary.

That's because we were all forced

to be in the same room together.

But, hey, junior high,

high school. Forget it.

Jocks became jocks.

Cheerleaders became cheerleaders.

We became us. I like us.

-- [ Mimicking ]

""I like us.''

-- I do.

I just think it would

be more fun to party with

those guys our senior year.

-- Go to the games.

-- We go to all the games.

We sit in the visiting section,

Kenneth, at our own school.

[ Chattering ]

[ Woman ]

I told you and told you.

-- Mom!

-- Where have you been?

Now there's the answer, buddy.

If you want to be popular,

you get one of those...

[ Gears Grinding ]

and you get one of those.

Yeah, right, my fifteen hundred

wouldn't buy the wheel.

-- You can rent 'em, you know.

-- Yeah.

come on a safari with me

Early in the mornin'

we'll be startin'out

Some honeys will be

makin'the scene

I've loaded up my woody

with the boards on top

--And I put on

my faded blue jeans

-- Looks, um, clean, Dad.

--come on, baby

Wait and see

-- Oh, thank you, son.

You know, anytime you want

to borrow this little beauty

for a night on the town,

it's yours.

Thanks.

[ Clears Throat ]

Let's go surfiin'now

You missed a spot, Dad.

I'll get it.

[ Doorbell Ringing ]

Mother!

Whoa!

Beauty runs in this family,

and it runs fast.

Rock? Oh, I see

you've met my little baby.

Baby? I thought

she was your little sister.

Oh, Rock.

Mother.

Mom? can I borrow

your suede outfiit tonight?

Cindy, I said no.

[Whispers ]

Okay.

I'll take care of big sister.

Oh. Isn't he a hunk?

Good word, Mom.

[ car Door closes,

Engine Starts ]

Oh, yes!

--[ Dance Rock ]

--[ Chattering ]

Hi!

[ Boy ]

Whoa! come on.

So, uh, I'm glad

you made the squad.

You know, you girls are

so important to the team.

-- I mean, your help is so

crucial between games too.

-- Yeah?

-- Keeping our spirits up.

-- Great!

-- What can I do to help?

-- Oh.

[ Silverware clatters ]

Ronald?

Not at the table, please.

So have you saved up enough money?

Yeah, fifteen hundred dollars!

Yeah, I mowed 331 miles of grass

this summer.

That's $4.54 per mile.

Hmm, The Ronald Miller Story:

My Life OnA Mower.

-- [ chuckie Sighs ]

-- How much is the microscope?

-- Telescope.

-- Oh, well.

It's $1,000, and it's on sale.

Then I'm gonna deposit the rest

in a money market account.

I'm proud of you, son.

You worked, you earned, you saved.

You ask. Hey, big Dave.

How 'bout, uh,

spottin' me a 20 to

purchase some necessities?

-- Why? What's up, son?

-- Preschooljam session at Julie's.

Okay. And what about you, Ronald?

You got any back--to--school

parties lined up?

Yeah, the Saturday night card game.

Ooh! Cards with the 'tards.

-- [ Groans ]

Smack him.

-- Hey, bro, I'm only kidding.

I mean, who could beat a night

of cards, chips, dips and dorks?

[ Laughing ]

Well, guys, read 'em and weep.

-- [ Laughs ]

-- [ Sighs ]

[ Exhales ]

Your deal.

[ crickets chirping ]

Ronald! Your deal.

[ chips clattering ]

Let's do something different.

What do you mean?

We've been playing poker

for two years.

Let's play another game.

Dealer's choice.

Hearts.

[ Dance Rock ]

-- Fran, isn't it?

-- Yeah!

Wow! Wow, can I pet it?

-- I'm sorry. It's dead.

-- Ooh, cool outfit!

Ooh, what a severe suede.

You guys, it's no big deal.

Um, Bobby sent it to me from Iowa.

You know, they have

fine leathers down there.

Oh, yeah, the best leathers

come from Rome, Paris and Des Moines.

I don't remember this.

I was just in your closet yesterday.

Um, I probably had it

somewhere else. I don't know.

Hey, Fran, do you wanna

go mingle a little bit?

My mom won't let me near suede.

It's too hard to clean.

Yeah, I know.

My mom feels the same way.

Did I tell any of you girls about

my many scholarship offers?

-- Mm--hmm.

-- [ Boy ]

Hey,John boy!

-- Yeah! Quint! Hi!

--John!

Watch it! Ooh. Sorry, hon.

-- [Whispers ]

Oh, my God.

--Don't worry. It's only wine.

Just rub some salt on it.

It'll come out.

Oh, oh.

I mean, it's not like I ruined it.

[ Sighs ]

Oh.

Damn it.

Now, for the same price, I can sell you

this five--inch telescope.

-- Oh, it's only five inches.

-- Well, it has an optical inverter.

-- Hmm.

-- Take a look. Take a look.

It gives you an erect image

rather than upside--down.

Hmm. Yeah.Ah,yes!

I see the erection.

I'll be right back.

I'll wrap it up

for you, Ronald.

Yes, I, I relate

to your dilemma, miss. I really do.

But we have a policy of no exchanges,

especially after a garment

has been marinated in Ripple?

All right, now, I will

compromise, all right?

Um, I, I will work here after school

and on weekends----

Would you listen to me?

I will work here after school

and on weekends,

and all you need to do

is give me a replacement

outfit as an advance.

-- Listen, honey.

-- What?

I'll repeat your alternatives

one last time.

You can keep your outfit

and dye the rest of it cranberry.

-- Or you can purchase a new one.

-- [ Sighs ]

Would you please help me?

I will do anything.

-- [ Sobs ]

-- Tsk. It's not that bad.

-- What are you talking about?

Are you high?

-- I want to rent you.

You want to rent me?

Yeah. You pretend you like me,

and we go out for just a few weeks...

and that will make me popular.

Just going out with me

is not gonna make you popular.

Well, I have $1,000

that says it will.

I think you've mowed

one too many lawns.

You're right.

Tsk.

I believe we have decided

against purchasing the outfit.

Donald!

Oh! You made it!

-- I was afraid you

weren't gonna meet me.

-- Mellow out, Donald.

I said 8:05. I'm here, right?

Relax, anyway. It's only school.

Yeah, well, this is not

my average opening day.

I'm about to walk

the cool hallway.

-- I usually go the long route

through the library.

-- Would you ease up?

I mean, I'm the one

who's gonna have to hold

a press conference...

when we're seen

together, right?

-- Right.

-- Okay, now let's get this deal

straight one more time.

Um, we only pretend to hang, right?

Uh, no hand holding, no kissing!

And I get my lunch hour off.

That's not our deal.

I need more return on my investment.

Well, there's no way

I'm holding your hand in public.

-- I mowed 286 miles for you.

-- Okay, one lunch.

There are five days

in a school week.

-- All right, Donald, two lunches.

-- Three lunches.

-- And the pep rally on Friday.

-- Four lunches. That's it!

Okay, deal. Now, just remember,

this is our sworn secret

for life or longer.

-- You promise.

-- Yeah, yeah. I promise.

Anyway, how bad could it be, right?

It's only for one week.

No, no, it's one month. One month.

Yeah, I know. Okay, one month.

-- Okay.

Now if I'm gonna do this

for one day, we have to do

something about your style.

I mean, it's like nonexistent.

Okay? Take off that hat.

[ can Hissing ]

And... rub that in.

[ Sighs ]

Okay, um, take off those glasses.

Here you go.

Let me take a look at you.

[ Grunts ]

[ Sighs ]

Nope. Turn around.

[Whispers ]

Oh, sh----

Okay, here you go. Your sleeve.

-- [ Chuckles ]

-- Don't worry about it. You look fine.

Turn around and back up.

-- Yes, yes, big improvement.

-- Yes.

Okay, Donald, we're ready.

-- Oh, Cindy, one last thing.

-- Yeah?

My name is Ronald, not Donald.

-- Let's do it.

-- That's right. Let's do it.

Should I put my collar up?

-- Hey, dude!

-- Hey, man.

[ Girls Laughing ]

[ Girl ]

Really?

[ Boy ]

What's happenin' homes?

[John ]

If we win a basketball trophy,

put it down there.

-- We want ours to be all alone.

-- Man, look at----

-- Who's the dick with ears?

-- Oh, yeah, man. It's

that wimp ass Miller guy.

-- I don't get it.

-- It must be for charity.

-- I think that's Ronald Miller.

-- No way!

It must be a... transfer.

Wrong, and I think I'm puking.

Hi, Pats, Barb.

-- Um, you all know Ronnie.

-- Yeah, I think.

Didn't you, like,

used to mow our lawn?

Yes, and you have the nicest pair

of rhododendrons in town.

Rhoda who?

-- Dendrons.

-- I'll see you guys in Home Ec.

Okay?

-- What did he say?

-- I don't care.

Dig on his shirt.

Well, class, any interesting

experiments this summer?

Uh, yeah, well, uh,

I grew spores and fungi...

in my parents' refrigerator

this summer.

Now he's homeless.

-- How come you didn't

meet me in the library?

-- Sorry. I forgot.

First day and all.

-- What's with the weird outfit?

-- Um, it's a designer original.

-- Yeah, how's the new telescope?

-- Well, I didn't exactly buy it yet.

A thousand dollars is a great deal

to part with, and I don't----

Mr. Miller,you seem

quite talkative this morning.

Why don't you recite the bones of

the upper appendicular skeleton?

-- Ooh!

-- [ Laughing ]

-- All 64.

-- [ Sighs ]

-- [ Sizzling ]

-- [ chattering ]

-- [ Gulps, Burps ]

-- Oh, God,John.

You are such a pig.

-- God.

-- Well...

since you guys

are all wimping out, I'll

get to the main issue here.

Cindy, what were you doing

with the lawn boy?

-- We're friends.

-- Since when?

Excuse me, Cindy.

""Friends''? Come on.

Well, what about Bobby?

Yeah, come on. We just want

some answers, all right?

Guys, why don't you

take a look at my forehead?

Do you see a sign

that says ""information''?

-- Ooh!

-- I didn't think so.

-- Girl!

-- Taste, please.

Hey, come on!

[ Laughing ]

[ Chattering ]

I know that lunch was part

of our deal, but I didn't think

it meant the same table.

Well, I thought it would be

a little more believable.

-- Yeah, I guess you're right.

Anyway, you did treat.

-- Yes.

Aren't you in the wrong section?

Losers are to the left.

Then I guess

you'll be making a right.

That's the asshole section.

[ Exhales ]

Thanks.

Yeah.

Oh! You need a map,John?

We've only been sitting

at that table for three years.

Well, look. That wimp ass Miller

is parked in our zone.

Lighten up. How bad could he be?

He's with Cindy. Come on.

You all know Ronnie?

Yeah, we were in, uh,

sixth grade together.

Uh, but I haven't

seen him since then.

[ Chuckles ]

I read in the paper that you

and Ricky will probably make all--county,

maybe even all--state this season.

-- Oh, really? You go to the game?

-- Every one.

-- I never seen ya there.

-- I have.

You sit in the visiting section,

don't you?

-- [ Laughing ]

-- Yeah, he sits there

to razz the other team.

-- It's psychological warfare.

-- Yeah!

I almost got my butt

kicked three times.

-- I'll bet.

-- Now that's school spirit.

-- Risking your life for the team.

-- Yeah.

-- I guess.

-- Yeah.

Guys, look at this.

Ronald's over in no--man's land,

and he's still alive.

What does he think

he's doing, Kenneth?

-- He must be helping them

with their homework.

-- Yeah.

First morning in school,

homework? Sure, Ken.

[ Chattering ]

[ New Wave Rock ]

-- Great.

-- Oh!

God, if my blood sugar level

was any lower, I'd be a corpse.

Thanks for stopping.

No problem. I stop here

every day anyway.

-- Why didn't you eat lunch?

-- I don't know.

I guess I just get nervous

around those guys.

-- Hi.

-- Hi, Cindy.

--John.

Now is your chance. Okay,

why don't you go over there...

and invite them to come over here

and join us, okay?

-- Good idea.

-- Okay.

Okay.

-- Hey, guys, come on over.

The pizza's on me.

-- Whoo!

All right. Whoo!

-- Come on. Don't.

-- Man!

-- Oh, come on, you guys.

-- Give me that.

Dude. Thanks, Ron.

[ Laughing ]

--[ Laughing, chattering ]

-- It's okay.

[ Mom ]

Oh, come on. F--6, okay. Got F--6.

-- Hey! Different outfit, Ron.

-- Thanks, Dad.

Hey, honey, how's

that new microscope?

It's a tele----

[ Clears Throat ]

I decided to wait for

the big Columbus Day sale.

-- Where ya off to?

-- I'm going to a party...

at John Richman's

with Cindy Mancini.

-- Cindy Mancini?

-- Mm--hmm.

-- Senior? captain

of the cheerleaders?

-- Yes.

Most beautiful girl

in the history of this county.

Mm--hmm. That's her.

Well, I'm late. I gotta bolt.

""Bolt''?

Something stinks in suburbia.

-- Hey.

--Secret agent man

Secret agent man

[ Sighs ]

-- [ Mom ]

Who is it?

-- Ronald.

-- Oh, Ronald?

-- Yes, ma'am.

Um, did I---- Did I forget

to pay you last week?

Oh, no, ma'am.

I'm here to pick up Cindy.

-- Cindy?

-- Yes, ma'am. Your daughter.

-- [ Footfalls Approaching ]

-- Cindy!

-- Here she is.

-- Uh--huh. Bye.

-- Cindy, I didn't get a chance

to say good--bye to your mother.

-- She'll get over it.

-- Is something the matter?

-- Yes, there's something the matter!

Ronald, I'm usually

picked up in some sort of

mechanized transportation.

I'm sorry. It's just----

It's a nice night, cindy.

It's only a few blocks.

I am not going on a nature walk.

I can't believe I let you

negotiate a Saturday night.

I mean, what?

We had lunch all week together.

I stood near you in the hall.

I even took you out for pizza!

And I waved to you

at the game yesterday.

I mean, Saturday night

was not part of our deal.

Bobby hasn't called?

I don't think that's

any of your business.

[ car Door closes ]

Cindy, here Bobby was

a big--time football star.

But there he's just a freshman

tryin' to make it.

I'm sure he's

thinking about you.

[ Sighs ]

I'm sorry.

Sorry? Hey, I'm the one

that forgot my dad's car.

It's just that

I haven't had that many dates

in the last 16, say, 17 years.

-- [ Laughs ]

-- [ Engine Starts ]

So what do you think

of this suit, huh? Elegant?

Gaudy?

[ Laughs ]

What's a two--word phrase

for late and inconsiderate?

Oh, oh, oh! I got it.

Uh, Ronald Miller.

-- [ Laughs ]

-- Hysterical. He'll be here.

Yeah, he's probably havin'

a late lunch with Cindy.

The least he could have done

is drop off the dip and chips.

The cold brew is

just not the same.

So what's the real reason

why they call you Big John?

-- [ Laughs ]

Well, how about I show you?

-- [ Laughs ]

-- Hey, great game, Big John.

--Oh, thanks.

-- Hey.

-- So----

Um, you brought Cindy here?

No---- Yes---- Well, we came from

her house together, so, yeah.

-- Well, hey, anyway, think

you can handle a brew?

-- Sure, you got an A&W?

[ Laughs ]

No, you're a funny guy though.

[ Both Laughing ]

'cause you're not to blame

'cause you're not the same

-- You okay?

-- Dude, I got to let it go, man.

I mean, bad. Oh,

but there's no need for panic,

because John Richman

is a socially responsible human being.

Hi, Cindy.

-- [Whistling ]

-- Hi.

-- People are starting to buy this.

I mean, he went from

totally geek to totally chic.

Mm--hmm.

[ Laughs ]

-- What do you think?

-- [ Chuckles ]

[ Chattering ]

Ronnie, do you want me

to give you a ride home after school?

-- Yes, please. Thank you.

-- Okay, I'll see you then.

-- Good morning.

-- How was your weekend?

-- It was great. How was yours?

Well, uh, Friday, uh...

I nearly got my face

rearranged by a visiting fan

trying to save ya a seat.

And Saturday,

you stood us up for cards.

And, hey, Sunday, never

returned any of my calls.

-- Damn. I'm sorry.

-- Yeah? For which one?

I said I'm sorry.

Can we please terminate this?

Fine.

Hey, hey, Kenneth.

Kenneth, Kenneth, Kenneth!

Let's do somethin' this weekend,

just me and you.

Okay, Friday night.

-- I can't.

-- Saturday.

Well, I was thinkin'

more like Sunday afternoon.

Great. I'll call you

for an appointment.

Oh, great. All right.

I'll see you Sunday.

Yo, gentlemen. Hey!

How's it goin'?

[ Laughs ]

You know, when I offered you

a ride home, it wasn't

to get you to wash my car.

-- I don't mind.

Actually, I kind of like it.

-- You're a hard worker.

Work's not really my thing.

Cheerleading's hard work.

You do it well.

I guess. But what I mean is

that I don't do much else...

except for shop and hangout.

You can do anything you want.

Anything you put your heart

and your mind into.

I believe that.

Um, I'll be right back.

Do you want anything from

the kitchen or anything?

-- No, thanks.

-- Okay.

[ Humming ]

-- Here.

-- [ Laughs ]

[ Water Running ]

""Someday my wish is for him

to hold me in his arms...

" in a sea of deep blue.

Together at last,

together as two.''

Oh, that's beautiful.

--I didn't know you were a poet.

-- No one knows.

Even Bobby?

Thank you for trusting me

with these.

[ Water Running ]

Let's just keep it between us, okay?

For life or longer? Promise?

Promise. But you should

be proud of it. You're talented.

And you're drenched.

-- Ah!

-- [ Laughs ]

[ Laughing ]

-- [ Grunts ]

-- [ Shrieks, Laughs ]

-- You really like this?

-- Yeah, I do, but you're

missing one big essential.

-- You're sure?

-- Yeah!

What am I missing?

I'd like to see those, please.

Aw! Very cool.

-- How much are they?

-- Don't worry about it. They're on me.

[ Chattering ]

[ chattering continues ]

[ Laughing, chattering ]

Come on.

[ Cindy ]

I'm starting to get nervous now.

-- Okay. Bye, Cindy.

-- Bye--bye.

Good to see you, honey.

I can't believe you won't

tell me where we're going.

-- What are we doing? Horseback riding?

-- Mm--mm.

-- A picnic?

-- Nope.

Since it's our last official

date, I thought we could check

out one of my favorite places.

-- Well, what's in the box?

-- You'll find out.

-- Okay.

-- Trust me! It'll be fun.

-- [ Engine Revving ]

-- Aah! Aah!

Okay, let me guess.

Are we out of gas?

-- Come on, Ronald. I thought

we outlawed this kind of stuff.

-- Follow me.

Wait a second. You're nuts.

I mean, I don't usually

scale walls on dates.

-- You can do it.

-- Of course, I can do it.

Whoa.

I've heard about this place.

The airplane junkyard.

Graveyard.

[ Exhales ]

This is the real history.

Not the stuff

we memorize in books.

-- Are these real bullet holes

right here?

-- Yep!

Follow me.

[ Imitating Plane Engine ]

The Navy found this one last year

off the coast of Japan.

They did a corrosion study on it.

After 40 years

at the bottom of the ocean...

this is all that rusted.

Our grandparents sure knew

how to make things that last.

How do you know all this stuff?

Well, the pilot

who ditched it in 1944?

He came back a few weeks ago

to take a look at this.

He stood here and looked

at this thing the whole day.

[ cindy ]

God. There are

mountains up there.

And valleys, canyons and plains.

What's that thing, um, up

there that looks like a star sapphire?

-- What's that?

-- Tycho.

An asteroid crashed there

and broke the moon.

-- Broke the moon?

-- Yeah.

It made a crack in the moon

a hundred times the size

of the Grand canyon.

On the right is

the Sea of Tranquility.

The first spaceship from Earth

landed there the day I was born.

That's why you're

so into astrology, right?

Astronomy.

No.

It's just... up there...

is our future world.

By the time I'm my dad's age,

people will be living there and working.

Maybe even us.

The moon. It looks different now.

It's not as mysterious or romantic.

I'm sorry I ruined it for you.

You didn't ruin it.

You just changed it, I guess.

[ Sighs ]

Um, there's something really important

we need to discuss.

[ Sighs ]

I was wondering

when you'd bring this up.

I'm new at all this. I'm gonna

have to rely on your experience.

Well, let's just do it naturally.

You know? With no planning.

How do we do it?

Our official breaking--up tomorrow?

Right.

Right. That's exactly what

I was thinking about. The breakup.

Us ending our fake relationship.

I mean, I don't even know

whoever believed it.

Us going out?

You, me? Yeah, right.

Yeah, it does seem

kind of unrealistic.

[ Sighs ]

Okay, so, how shall we do it?

Stage a big fight?

A lovers' quarrel?

No, we don't have anything

to fight about.

Oh, that's okay. We can

make something up. Let's see.

What do people fight about?

Well, we wouldn't want

to damage your reputation.

-- Reputation?

-- I think a small, dignified ceremony...

-- is probably the best way...

-- Me?

-- to end it.

-- With a reputation.

Whoo! Yeah!

I can't believe this.

A reputation.

[ Door closes ]

Thank you, Cindy.

Have a good night now.

Whoo!

I got a reputation, baby

[ Girl ]

Oh, I'm gonna be late.

[ Ronald ]

So how do you do it?

Yeah. There you go.

[ Girl ]

Oh, I'm gonna be late.

-- Hi.

-- Um, I did a little thinking

about last night,

-- Mm--hmm.

and I think that now is the time

that we had our little talk.

-- About what?

-- Us. You know, me.

Now?

Okay, great.

Well, um, I did

a little thinking too!

No, actually!

I did quite a bit of thinking!

-- And I decided that

you're breaking me.

-- What?

Broke. Bankrupt. Chapter 11 .

[Whispering ]

What are you talking about?

This. I'm dry.

Hey, I can't keep up with you.

I'm not a bank.

-- [Whispering ]

They love it.

-- Would you stop it, please?

-- This isn't dignified.

-- Dignified?

Yeah.

For one month you draped all over me

like a cheap fucking suit!

[ Laughing ]

-- Now I'm not dignified?

-- This is not necessary.

Would you show some maturity?

Like your precious Bobby?

-- Yeah.

-- Well, if I was as mature as him,

I probably wouldn't

have called you either.

I'm tired of you

comparing me to Bobby,

and, in fact, I'm tired of you.

Period!

[ Crowd Gasping ]

-- Whoo!

-- [ Girl Giggling ]

Poor Cindy. It's awful the way

Ronnie annihilated her.

I know. I mean, I don't know what

she ever saw in him.

-- He's such a---- such a heartbreaker.

-- Yeah. That's it.

The Ronster, man.

You're one badass dude. Hey, listen.

You don't mind if I try to get

tired of Cindy now that you're

finished with her, do you?

-- [ Clears Throat ]

No.

-- Loved it, baby.

All right.

[ Engine Off]

That was a great act this morning.

That slap was so real.

We are talking Oscar nomination.

Mmm. Yeah, well----

We gave 'em a good show.

The audience loved it.

Oh, what an excellent four weeks.

Your friends really took to me,

all because of you.

-- [ Engine Approaching ]

-- Ronnie, it was like a job.

I mean, you bailed me,

and I pretended to like you.

-- And I was only honoring

our rental contract.

-- Yeah, well, it worked.

Geez. Popularity sure

beats being treated like

a social leper. Let me tell ya.

Popularity isn't perfect.

I mean, it almost

feels like a job sometimes.

Do you remember that

suede outfit that I wore?

-- Yeah.

-- Yeah, well, that was me

trying to impress people.

I have to work at it.

So does everybody else.

Cindy?

It's to keep your poetry in.

-- Thank you.

-- You're welcome.

Ronald, whatever happens

with the popularity thing, you know...

stay yourself.

Don't change to please them.

Me change? Tsk. Never.

That's right.

I'm here! Ha, ha!

Feelin' good. Hey, babies.

How ya doin', man?

Good to see ya----

-- Oh, Ronnie!

-- Oh, ladies, you look beautiful.

That's all right. Mom, Dad,

send money, please. I'm broke.

Hey, man, good to see ya.

Good to see ya. Good to see ya.

-- All I'm asking for is one date.

-- [ Cindy ] No!

Oh, ladies, you're

lookin' fine this A.M.

Thanks, Ronnie.

Lookin' rather tasty yourself.

-- Ooh. [ Chuckles ]

-- I love your hair.

-- It's so... so saturated.

-- [ Scoffs ]

-- It's nothin' major,

just a little mousse.

-- Yeah, 42 gallons.

-- You're taking me to

Scoops Saturday night.

-- Saturday night?

-- Yeah.

-- Yeah, I believe I have

that evening liberated.

-- Wonderful.

-- I hope so.

Ronnie, this is gonna

be tougher than I thought.

I'm gonna need your advice.

-- Barbara, I was gonna ask him out!

-- Relax, Pats.

-- It's only October.

-- Yeah, right!

[ Boy ]

Wait for me!

[ Barbara ]

How about some tunes?

-- Your dad sell aluminum siding?

-- No, he's the president

of Tic Tac Tiles. Why?

This car sort of reminds me

of my granddad's.

--[Jazz Instrumental ]

-- Hmm.

So how come you asked me out?

You went out with Cindy.

She is Cindy Mancini.

[ Laughs ]

You can't argue with that logic.

-- Come on, Cathy.

Let's take it back to my place.

-- [ Horn Honking ]

[ Video Games Beeping ]

Hey, look, there's Ronald

in his dad's Chrysler.

Good evening, gentlemen.

[ Boy With Glasses ]

I---- I love station wagons.