And now, the news.

You wanna take it for a test drive?

Last week we talked

about you feeling like the sad clown.

What's going on now?

Well, I had a dream the other night...

I was riding in a Cadillac,

like my father used to have.

Carmela was driving,

and I was in the back passenger seat.

Sitting next to me was Gloria.

In front of me, sitting next to Carmela,

was a business associate of mine.

He's the one whose son had the accident.

I don't know where we were going. No place.

'Cause we never seemed to get anywhere.

Kinda like this therapy.

And it was hot in the car, it was stuffy.

There was no air-conditioning.

That's all of it.

Oh, and...

my friend had a caterpillar on his head.

It turned into a butterfly.

Has your friend recently changed?

Not a friend. Associate.

- And no.

- What do you think the dream means?

Can't you tell me

what the fucking thing means?

I mean, you obviously know.

Why do we have to go through

this exercise every time?

I don't obviously know.

I didn't have the dream.

The meaning is elicited

through verbalization.

And the gehoxtahagen is framed

up by the ramistan.

Okay. Your wife...

your mistress, a business associate, you...

all in the same car.

- Your father's car.

- With my wife driving...

which, if my father were alive...

he wouldn't have stood

for two fucking seconds.

I hear anger.

No, I'm just saying,

the old guys were different.

- Men in the front, wives in the back.

- You like that arrangement?

Actually, I think the wife

should ride in a little cart behind the car.

Like in the cartoons.

Like behind Noah's Ark,

there's a little boat with the skunks.

So wives are skunks?

Oh, Jesus fucking Christ, it's a fucking joke.

Does it have to be

like a cancer hospital in here?

- But Carmela is in control in the dream.

- Why? 'Cause she's driving?

Whatever's gone on with the other two,

you want to square it with Carmela.

- Why?

- That's what we need to find out.

Freud says dreams are wishes.

Dreams are wishes?

I thought you said that dreams

represent repressed urges and...

- It depends.

- I oughta quit this fucking therapy.

"Maybe it's this, maybe it's that."

Maybe it's a fungule!

What about impulse control?

I been sitting in this chair for four years...

and nothing's been done about that!

And it leads me to make mistakes

at my work!

What good did you do me with that?

- Let's get back to the dream.

- Oh, fuck the dream, it's just a dream.

Jesus Christ, the money I spend here,

I could've bought a Ferrari.

At least I would've got a blowjob out of that!

- What do you mean?

- Please.

Don't get me started.

I think you're glossing over the significant

accomplishments we've made in here.

"My mother would come

when she looked at a pot roast."

"Oh, you're second in the birthing order."

"Oh, Carmela's driving the car,

how fucking interesting."

When you first came here,

you were clinically depressed.

You suffered from panic attacks

that put your life in danger.

There's been significant relief

in both those areas.

You're right, but...

I mean, come on.

I've been coming here four years now.

I've been a good sport.

Sophia! Your jacket.

You're just getting over a cold, come on.

I miss you so much.

I'd be with you right now

if it wasn't for the kids.

We want a 40-percent position

in your HUD business.

'Cause I bent on the other thing, you're

entitled to reach into my pocket on this?

That was a gesture of goodwill.

We've been down this road before.

We share Zellman.

Therefore, any of the fruits of Zellman,

we're entitled to.

- We done here?

- Fucking Ralph.

Where's your point man on this thing?

- He missed his drops this week.

- I don't know. Maybe you can tell me.

About what we expected.

Blooming Onion. Cool.

The steak with the toothpick is Daddy's,

he likes it still mooing.

I saw on CNBC

that Outback's profitability is...

Excuse me.

- Dad?

- Wait, sit.

Sit and eat. It's a sin to waste good food.

Try the mushrooms. I don't know what

they do to them, but they're delicious.

I'm all right.

The kids are fed.

Thank you.

- What did you do with the cake today?

- Cake?

Your daughter saw it in the back of your car.

She told me about it

when I picked her up from practice.

I took it to Karen's grave.

I buried it.

Today was our anniversary.

Fourteen years.

I wish you would've told me about it

before I picked up the steaks from Outback.

The sides alone were over $30.

How often do you go to the grave?

Every day. That's what I miss the most,

talking to her.

Believe me, Bobby, I know.

I lost both my parents.

It's very easy for people

to give facile advice:

"Suck it up, move on," etc.

I'm not gonna tell you that.

Grieving is a process.

Sometimes courage isn't a value.

Tony.

- Hello?

- Look...

let's not let this get out of hand.

We've been doing good business

for a while now.

Carmine agrees. I agree.

Forty percent is not gonna happen.

We all know it.

I'm willing to go five and a half.

- Hello?

- Not acceptable.

This guy who does

the housing appraisals for Tony...

"Vic the Appraiser," they call him.

I want you to pay a visit

to this Polack Tony Soprano's...

got doing phony house appraisals.

Vic the Appraiser.

Make this guy understand

that he's gonna be working for us...

on these shithole houses

we bought in Jersey.

You got it.

Why did he get her a cake? She died.

Go back to bed.

Nicky Ghilardi said mommy's ghost

is gonna come back and haunt us.

There's no such things as ghosts.

The cake?

Maybe it was for the nuns.

Sometimes, when I'm walking down

the hallway, I can smell her hair.

Well, maybe if we did something bad,

she'd haunt us for our own good.

There's nothing to be scared of.

Go back to bed.

Tony's pretty hot...

that you didn't counteroffer.

God forbid, if this gets really bad...

there could be a change.

Tony?

Suffice to say, no matter what happens now,

or in the future...

Carmine won't forget you.

And as far as us talking like this...

It's just because we're old friends.

And I know I can blow off

a little steam with you.

Cheaper than a bartender.

I'm only trying to bring

good relations between the families...

as I always do and always will.

No matter what happens or who's in charge.

If it's me, God forbid...

or whoever.

- Hey, Branca. How you doing?

- Hello.

- Is he around?

- Shaving.

- How's your boss?

- Shaving his face.

No, your employer there, Miss Kirilenko?

Fine.

Reason I'm asking is

'cause we didn't get the bill.

- Here he is.

- I've fucking had it.

- With what?

- Everything.

- Did you offer my nephew something?

- I'm a registered nurse.

- Not maid.

- Did you offer him an aspirin?

Cunt.

What's with you?

This fucking competency hearing.

Delayed twice,

and now it's coming up on Friday.

I don't know whether to chill the champagne

or shit in my pants.

It's gonna be...

You got shaving cream all over you.

Don't you wash yourself off?

- It's over here, too.

- Yeah, it's that fucking lighting upstairs.

If Bobby put in the right wattage...

All right, listen.

We found out where the jurors meet every

day before they're bused to the courthouse.

Now if this mental competency thing

don't work...

I don't wanna talk about it.

So, what is the story there with you two?

He's a great guy.

He's just still very much in mourning.

We're stuck at platonic.

Well, Karen was a wonderful person.

I'm sure God must have his reasons...

but sometimes you have to wonder.

Well, I'm sure she was as good as gold,

but he's developing a psychosis.

Her clothes are still in the closet.

And yesterday he bought her a cake

for their anniversary...

and he buried it at her grave.

What? At her grave?

God forbid that I should say something,

because I would be perceived as a harpy...

coming between

him and his dead, idealized wife.

Listen, you,

don't make any plans for Sunday.

The Baccilieris are coming over.

Make those kids feel welcome.

- Bobby Junior? The kid's like 11.

- I don't ask you to do chore one!

You can go without seeing Devin

and your friends for one night.

Yeah, we were supposed to study.

But I guess you don't care about that.

Vic!

You don't return Johnny's phone calls?

What did you say?

I'm only the appraiser!

Now, let me appraise you of this.

Be at the Red Chimney on Route 3,

9:00 tomorrow morning...

ready to go to work

for Johnny and Carmine.

Victor's scared now.

- Nobody knows where he is.

- Look, it's a bluff.

They don't wanna start a separate operation.

You know the costs that are involved

in a HUD scam?

You got the appraiser, the poverty pimp.

They want in on a going thing.

You want me to pay a visit

to Johnny Sack's guys?

Just say the word.

You know what?

- I'm not gonna go fucking ballistic.

- All due respect, T.

Throwing your appraiser a beating

was a provocation to you directly.

There he is.

You tell him to stop beeping that horn,

or I'm gonna shove it up his fucking ass!

- All right, Sil.

- Enjoy the game.

- I'll see you, Tony.

- All right, Vit'.

You ever talk to Beansie

down there in Florida?

Now and then.

Does he ever run

into Carmine's son down in Miami?

I'll be on my cell if you need me.

Beansie tells me...

- he sees Little Carmine all the time.

- Well, maybe Beansie can feel him out.

See if he's receptive to a meet with me.

Maybe we can work this shit out,

if he talks to his old man.

Beansie's gotta happen to run into him.

Not like we're asking.

Yeah, it was pretty cool.

Look at that.

Just stuffed artichokes.

No cactus for me.

You're not Italian if you don't like artichoke.

So what, Mike Piazza

eats nothing but artichokes?

I mean, that's dicked up.

All right.

I like rice. Maybe I'm Chinese.

- A.J.

- You, too, Bobby.

How'd you like it if Oriental kids

were making fun of you?

I'll get it.

- You want an artichoke, Bobby Junior?

- No.

- It's dinnertime.

- You sure, B.J.?

- You're really missing out.

- I said already.

Hi, Mrs. Soprano.

Everybody, this is Devin.

- Would you like something to eat?

- No, thank you, I'll just wait inside.

She tell you who I saw

at Schantz's Hardware last week?

Oh, God, do you have to tell

every person you run into?

I'll put an end to the mystery right now.

Connie Francis.

Excuse me.

She was looking at recessed lighting.

I put in recessed lighting. But I'm sorry now.

- Hello?

- Tony, it's me.

Hey, how you doing?

Fine fettle. Listen, I spoke to our friend.

The son. He seemed very receptive.

Tuesday night.

We'll meet down here in Florida.

We'll pick a place later.

I got my stepdaughter

and her friends this weekend.

I'm gonna have to bring them along.

Okay, good. Thanks.

Somebody will call you.

Where is Anthony?

He went upstairs with that girl.

You two come with me.

That door is not supposed to be closed.

We were studying.

- Is this how you treat your guests?

- My guests?

You invited them.

These kids just lost their mom.

Could you give them a little time?

- You know how much Little Bobby likes you.

- Now what am I, daycare?

You must have a million games in here.

Clue, Monopoly.

Help them pick something out.

Come on in, kids.

A.J.'s gonna help you find a game.

Spirit...

speak to me.

Is Bobby Junior gay?

Now, do it again for real,

like last time with the dead little baby.

Quit messing around.

Okay, serious.

Spirits, identify yourself.

- You're forcing it again.

- Shut up!

Do you think it's my mom?

Probably not. It's not people you know.

- Will you do it with me, Devin?

- Okay.

Spirit. Do you know Karen Baccilieri?

Is she making new friends in heaven?

- Maybe we should play something else.

- This is stupid. Let's play Clue.

You're just a scared little baby.

I'm not scared. I have this game at home.

I used to play it all the time...

until it got boring.

How about we try

and contact the dead for real?

Just heard from our friend.

The other guy'll sit down.

I'm going on Tuesday.

- Want me there?

- I was thinking of bringing Paulie down.

Face time with you could be what he needs.

- He's on the rag lately.

- Then I decided against it.

The other day,

we were talking about Florida.

- I noticed you clammed up around Paulie.

- You did, too.

It occurred to me

that maybe Paulie's the one...

telling our friend in New York

all our business.

- Somebody had to pass along that fat joke.

- He was in Youngstown at the time.

- In the can.

- What, people can't visit him?

Jesus, you believe this shit?

We're talking about fucking Paulie here.

For now, he's got no reason

to know about the trip.

- Nobody's got a reason to know.

- Absolutely.

It's on a need-to-know basis.

And get this fucking appraiser

working again.

I got houses just sitting there.

You got to hold hands.

And nobody let go.

The most important thing...

is that you keep your eyes closed

during the ceremony...

because if you open them,

whatever spirits we're speaking to...

will permanently remain trapped

between worlds forever.

Everybody's eyes shut?

Oh, great spirit from beyond.

Reveal yourself.

Give us a sign of your presence.

- Keep laughing if you think it's funny.

- It was you.

- You hear that?

- What?

- I heard it.

- Me, too.

Wait.

I see a...

gray mist...

- with little specks of light.

- That's what I'm seeing, too.

Wait.

I see somebody. An old man.

Spirit from another dimension,

can you reveal yourself?

What?

- What's that?

- How come he's only talking to you?

Because I'm the oldest,

and closest to the afterlife.

You're a sea captain?

Captain Jacobus? What?

He says it's a terrible storm.

It's raining where you are?

Waves are smashing against the boat?

He's here!

Oh, Jesus Christ, they'll kill me.

What's going on?

Oh, my God, what happened?

Nothing, we were just playing.

We were playing Ouija board.

And then A.J. did this sance.

Dad, I want to go home.

Soph', it's just a Ouija board.

She's just scared.

It's okay, honey, Daddy's here.

This is your idea of fun?

You scared these kids half to death!

I didn't do anything. He freaked out.

- Why's your shirt all wet?

- Bobby, look, he had a sponge.

After what we just talked about,

this is what you do?

You asshole.

You, say good night.

You, get out of my sight.

I can't remember

when I was more disappointed in you.

- Good night.

- You know what?

He locked me in the garage

at the guy with the ponytail's house.

Bobby, I don't even know what to say.

I am so embarrassed.

Part of growing up, don't worry about it.

I'm only the appraiser!

What do you think?

You could hide from us?

Tony bought three more houses

that need appraisals.

I can't. I told you, please.

Johnny and Carmine's guys, they hurt me.

That's nothing

compared to what we're gonna do, Victor.

So go back inside, get your appraising shit,

and start appraising.

Did you like the movie?

What's the matter?

You went to the cemetery today, didn't you?

How do you know?

'Cause you got cemetery mud

on your shoes.

Mud? What are you,

Marge Hingenbrender now?

What do you know about the mud?

You been spying on me?

What, I can't go to the cemetery?

I got to get permission from you?

We're talking about you. Not me.

You know, the grave and the funeral...

It's never ending.

You don't want to let it go.

- Did you even pay the funeral bill yet?

- I'm never gonna pay him.

Son of a bitch put an extra 15 pounds

on Karen when they did her up.

This dispute with the bill is morbid clinging.

This is exactly what I mean,

we have a nice evening...

and we end up talking about your dead wife.

- You invited me.

- The other night at Tony's...

your kids were trying to contact Karen

on a Ouija board.

What do you expect?

You're talking to a headstone.

- She's my wife.

- She's dead, and I'm here.

- Shut the fuck up.

- You shut the fuck up.

Tony, it's Svetlana.

I've just received the brooch.

I want to thank you.

- I don't know why I deserve it, but...

- No, I don't want to hear that.

I want you to keep it.

I'm gonna keep it, don't worry.

Diamonds like this...

It's a very nice gift. Very sweet.

And what happened between us...

it was nice, too.

Okay, well...

That's it, then?

These things happen, and then life goes on.

Are you sure? Because...

if you ever want to talk,

or you ever need anything...

No, it's all right.

Thank you for the brooch.

Broke a woman's heart.

Told her I couldn't see her no more.

Sad, but there was no getting around it.

- Who is she?

- Takes care of my uncle.

Runs an elder care agency.

She took care of my mother, too.

- Your former girlfriend's cousin?

- That one, yeah.

- Is she your current cumare?

- No, some brief fling kind of thing.

You know, after a while,

I felt like I had to cut off her leg.

Not leg, affair.

- Did I say leg?

- Why did you cut it off?

Jesus, I am married.

- What happened?

- I bought her the...

It's this diamond pin

that I send to every woman when I'm...

easing out the door,

I'm such a fucking prick.

You know what?

This is all bullshit.

It was she who gave me my walking papers.

- You believe that?

- What I meant was that...

You know why

she didn't want to see me anymore?

She said that I was high maintenance.

And this is after all the time and

all the money and all the fucking Prozac...

and all the fucking cocksucking,

motherfucking dream interpretations.

And she says she didn't want to prop me up.

And this from a broad

that walks around on crutches half the time.

Nice?

Do you agree

with her characterization of you?

I'm a miserable prick.

I've said this since day one.

And you're no longer interested

in changing?

In finding a way out?

No, I guess not.

I said this last time.

You just didn't want to hear it.

You're paying me for my honest opinion.

You should be in therapy.

All this fucking self-knowledge,

what the fuck has it gotten me?

Okay, maybe it got me some shit

in the beginning.

Some leadership strategies.

All we do now is sit around half the time...

shooting the breeze about philosophy,

the Italians, my uncle Eckley.

I try to keep the focus on the work.

So when it goes off, it's my fault?

Okay, fine, I accept that.

You know what she says?

This broad...

she's from Russia, dirt poor.

She had some kind of osocarma disease

in her leg when she was nine.

She says that nowhere else in the world

do people expect to be happy...

except for here in this country,

and still we're not.

And we got everything.

And when we're not, what do we do?

We go to shrinks.

For what, $6 or $7 a minute?

There's some truth to what she says.

But should that be a source of shame?

That when the desperate struggle

for food and shelter is finally behind us...

we can turn our attention...

to other sources of pain and truth?

"Pain and truth."

Come on,

I'm a fat fucking crook from New Jersey.

Now that the panic attacks

and the baseline depression...

have been dealt with,

the real work can begin.

- I knew you'd say something like that.

- Because it's true.

When we're not constantly

having to put out fires...

we can really delve into who you are...

and what you're really after

in your very brief time on this earth.

I'm sorry.

I don't want to do this anymore.

And you can say that I'm running away.

But I've been here

longer than I thought I'd stay.

Longer than anybody ever thought I'd stay.

And you know what?

I get no appreciation for it.

You've shown a lot of courage.

I commend you on that.

Thank you for the commendation and adis.

Look, no fault, no foul.

I appreciate everything you've done for me.

Come to your next appointment.

One more time.

You'll cover my $300-a-week in no time

with some other mortadella.

All right, I shouldn't have said that.

Look, you saved my life in the beginning...

and for all the times

I came on like an asshole, I'm very sorry.

You've got my number

if you change your mind.

And if you begin to feel

any of the old feelings, you need to call me.

So, what's customary?

I mean, do we shake hands?

How about a diamond pin?

Okay, well...

Goodbye.

You've reached Doctor Elliot Kupferberg.

Please leave a message

at the sound of the beep.

If this is an emergency...

you can reach me at 973-555-7089.

Guess who's no longer a patient of mine.

Calling all cars.

His user name had 666.

That means Satan.

I was gonna park in that spot.

Ball breaker, welcome to Miami.

Mr. Melvoin, I've read your application

for dismissal...

on the grounds of mental incompetence.

And I've reviewed

the findings of the doctors in this matter.

Frankly, they were unmoved

by Mr. Soprano's performance.

Your Honor, to couch it as a performance...

It's their opinion

that he understands the charges...

and that he's more than competent

to participate in his own defense.

I'd like another round of testing.

Your Honor...

I didn't come all this way

to stop this trial now.

Court will convene on Monday at 9:30

to continue proceedings.

Your Honor, please.

Since his injury, I have not had

a single conversation with Mr. Soprano...

in which we've related

on any meaningful level.

Feel free to take that up on appeal.

Fuck!

We'll get to a juror. We're working very hard.

Hello?

Bobby, hi. What's up?

I was just doing housework. Why?

Is everything all right?

Oh, my God.

Tell me about it.

Got home tonight. Kids were kind of quiet.

Then bedtime, all hell broke loose.

Crying, wouldn't be left alone.

Sophia, especially.

They've been playing

with that goddamn Ouija board again.

- Oh, no.

- They were trying to contact Karen.

What?

I don't know what to say, Bobby.

I came over this afternoon

with some pound cake.

I saw it.

I heard them in his room

with that Ouija board.

I thought, "This is not good."

But then after the other night,

I didn't want to overstep my bounds.

It's my fault.

You're under a lot of stress.

You're a single dad.

No, you were right. It's bad for them.

- It's unwholesome.

- You want me to go up?

I think they're asleep. Finally.

I had to read to Sophia for like an hour.

She couldn't even handle a Nancy Drew,

it was too mysterious.

- Go ahead.

- It's just...

The dead have nothing to say to us, Bobby.

It's our own narcissism

that makes us think they even care.

It does get better with time.

Did you get anything to eat at least?

Can I fix you something?

No, it's too much trouble.

No, it's not. I'm starving, too.

There's probably something in here.

Karen's ziti?

It's the last one she made.

And it was like 300 degrees

in that Minnie Mouse head?

So I took it off, you know?

I was gonna have a cigarette.

- And some kid took a picture of me.

- Come on, girls.

These gentlemen have things to discuss.

Let's go.

Okay. Thanks.

- Nice meeting you guys.

- We'll see you at the bar later.

Look, Carmine.

You basically know what's going on

with your dad and Johnny...

and us over in Jersey.

First let me say, I understand.

I appreciate the respect

you're showing me by coming here...

and reaching out to me at this time.

Always.

I will also go on record as saying...

I know my old man

can be a tough nut to crack.

I don't want to crack nuts, but I will.

I feel the anger.

When I try, for the second time...

on a separate issue entirely,

to reach an accommodation...

and he don't even make a counteroffer,

where's his respect?

I don't know what kind of advice

he's getting from Johnny.

Johnny's always usually

a voice of moderation.

Me and him, we get along good.

So, all due respect,

let's not jump in and blame Johnny.

True. John's a pragmatist.

But he's also a greedy motherfucker.

He lives above his head a little.

I am reminded

of Louis the Whatever's finance minister:

De-something. He built this chateau.

Nicole and I saw it when we went to Paris.

It even outshone Versailles,

where the king lived.

In the end, Louis clapped him in irons.

Look, Tony.

All I can promise you is, I will look into it.

I understand you got to try to feel out

your old man so he don't give you 'a mazz'...

you know, for sticking your nose in.

I haven't been afraid of my father

for quite some time.

Fair enough.

But, Carmine, bear in mind,

he came onto my turf.

He tried to recruit my mulignon.

And worse, he roughed up my appraiser.

If the proper response is not forthcoming

in a business-like time frame...

my next move

will not be further conversation.

I get it.

You should know that my next call

will be to Johnny Sack...

to let him know that we talked.

He shouldn't feel blind-sided.

Ladies and gentlemen.

Corrado Soprano is not

some harmless old man...

being persecuted by the government...

but a ruthless and calculating mob boss...

who controls a vast criminal enterprise.

Over the past few months,

you've heard from FBI agents...

who have documented

clandestine meetings at his doctor's offices.

Tales of bid rigging, sweetheart deals...

secret payoffs, and even murder.

No, Corrado Soprano

is not some harmless old man...

but a killer who orders up murder...

like you and I order up coffee.

All right. So, I rewrote it.

"The entire point of Melville's Billy Budd...

"it seems to me, is to show

how mean humans can be to each other.

"Especially when living

in cramped conditions."

Hold that thought.

Come on in.

So, how is your mother's

apartment coming?

Artie's Uncle Zio finished the framing...

but now the Sheetrock,

it's wet on the bottom.

There's a leak, maybe in the foundation.

My father is a contractor.

If you want, I can have him take a look at it.

He is free, I think, tomorrow afternoon.

That would be a huge relief.

What smells in this house?

Marone, it's like the smell of heaven.

Homemade scones. My son loves them.

Here, try one. They are just out of the oven.

Thank you, no.

That's all there is for breakfast,

is fat and carbs?

Excuse me, we have a guest.

You want to say hello?

Anyway.

"When Mr. Claggart gets mad at Billy,

it is a surprise...

"because he is always saying

how handsome Billy is.

"This does not seem realistic...

"because why would an officer care

if a sailor was handsome or not?"

A.J., your father's leaving.

I'll come up in a minute. Go over it.

What is this?

"Ocean Club at Paradise Island."

We leave tomorrow for three beautiful days.

Tomorrow?

I know it's short notice,

but the deal came through.

We got a view suite, first-class plane tickets.

Guy owes me a favor.

- What?

- I don't know...

- A.J.? School?

- He's old enough to spoil himself now.

You were jealous when I left for Florida...

My mother with the skin condition.

Just the time it's gonna take to pack.

To pack.

I'll wait outside.

With all the shit that's been going on,

the horse and all...

Now, I know you need a break. Deep down...

that's probably the reason

you got your hair cut.

You believe that in there? The tickets?

For two years,

she's complained that we never get away.

So I make it happen.

Top shelf across the board.

All of a sudden, her mother's psoriasis

is like the bubonic fucking plague.

You know what, va fungule.

I don't know why I bother.

- She's probably worried for her mother.

- Fuck that.

They got her on the cortisone.

I know she's my wife

and the mother of my children and all...

but let me tell you something,

she can be a moody bitch.

There he is. Live from Miami Beach.

- Where's your pop?

- Clubhouse.

Forgot to put his Desenex.

- This shit with Tony?

- Total debacle.

And Pop with his testa dura,

he's not doing anybody any good.

Anything you could do

to change your father's mind?

I'm gonna try, John.

I came all the way up here for that.

You put your sun block on?

As you know, Dad,

Tony Soprano came to visit me recently.

I bought him dinner, we talked.

I'm not sure I like that he did that end run.

He's an old-fashioned guy, Pop.

Very allegorical.

I don't think it was his intention

to insult anybody.

You're distracting me. I'm taking a mulligan.

The problem is, I'm afraid that you backed

yourself into a corner, this HUD thing.

Your insistence on the 40 percent.

Remember, even from the beginning

I felt 40 was a tad steep.

A real hardhead, this Soprano kid.

And the ego.

I tell you, though, when I first met him,

decisive as he is...

I would've been proud

to call him my own son.

Maybe there's a compromise here, then.

There's always a compromise.

He's a bit of a poseur, if you ask me.

Tony. He likes to talk the talk, I don't know.

- What did he say?

- His turf, his appraiser.

Son of a bitch.

- What, did they resod that green?

- No, you got to give him some slack.

He hasn't really been boss of a family

very long.

Family? I told you, they're a glorified crew.

Whatever they are, Carmine,

the Sopranos bring in a lot of cash.

I've been close with Tony for a lot of years.

On reflection, John,

maybe that's the sticking post.

Tony feels like you're friends

and not business associates.

See, what am I always saying?

I hate this fucking shit.

It's a small space, but I guess

that makes it a decorating challenge.

The man in the store says to put mirrors...

but Mama thinks it's nose-in-the-air

when people look at themselves.

How about, let's see, something like this?

That's beautiful.

She'll fall in love with that place.

It's so cozy with the pillows... Romantic.

Not that your mother...

I never thanked you for helping me.

That's okay.

You're a very special woman.

Have you thought about flooring yet?

Not really, no.

Speak English, for Christ's sake.

If she doesn't go for mirrors...

we should pick

a light-colored ceramic tile maybe.

All the houses back home have tile floors.

Then we should go to Colortile.

They have everything.

- I would love to go with you there.

- Great, then it's a date.

Good. It's a date.

The handicaps are all taken.

What beautiful affairs they were,

those Knights of Columbus dinners.

Julius La Rosa would sing

with that voice of his.

Top dollar, they paid.

Now, that's a nice-looking man.

There's a handicap by the door.

Quick, Minn.

I remember him

from Arthur Godfrey's program.

He was so mean to him, that man.

- Oh, my God.

- Jesus, Mary, and Joseph.

I'm bleeding. Oh, my god.

Jesus Christ, lady, didn't you see me?

Guy checks into one of the guest rooms...

calls down and says,

"I got a leak in the sink."

I said, "Go ahead,

the customer's always right."

Any results from Little Carmine yet?

Johnny Sack wants a sit-down

tomorrow night.

Sweetheart, another drink.

What do you say, Ton'?

Maybe we should take off soon?

What's your hurry? Hang out awhile.

- Stay, I'll get you home.

- No, we should go.

All right, you two want to go?

I'll see you tomorrow.

Come on, I'll walk you out.

Perfect.

Got my drink, a little dancing...

You want to go upstairs?

That's okay.

Paulie, Marone.

For Pete's sake, Nucci,

you were fine for the last two hours.

All right, let me see.

She's just a little shaken up.

We gave her some Tylenol.

It was such a crash, though.

Cookie's in the x-ray with three stitches.

When was the last time

you had your eyes examined?

- My eyesight is fine.

- Listen to the doc.

You shouldn't be behind the wheel

at your age.

- I've been driving since I was a young girl.

- Horse and buggies don't count.

- Paulie, be nice.

- Relax, Ma.

She ain't driving you no more.

Maybe if your mother

wasn't talking in my ear.

We were all chatting.

Everyone in the neighborhood

says you're moving into the home.

- What do you need a car for?

- I like my independence.

- And it's none of your goddamn business.

- This is my Ma we're talking about.

But we have tickets to The Producers.

Don't worry about it. I'll drive you girls.

Hello?

Colin, hi.

Hey, Mrs. Soprano.

Meadow's on campus, she'll be right back.

- I'm Ellen McDermott, Colin's mother.

- Hi.

I'm gonna get my shoes.

You've seen the apartment before?

I teach school out in Akron

and I couldn't get here till now.

We figured she's only a sophomore,

why does she need an apartment?

But with those seniors moving out midterm,

we said a Hail Mary.

No, I have to tell you.

Your daughter is really something.

- His old roommate...

- Thank you. Colin is very sweet also.

Thank you. But she's going places, that girl.

Poised, mature. Cooks for these other two.

Plus she volunteers at that law center.

I think that's extraordinary. Congratulations.

Speak of the devil.

- Mom, remember Alex?

- Of course, hi.

Excuse me.

- The place is really shaping up.

- I guess.

What's the matter? Finn? I thought

things were going well with you two.

They are. I don't know.

I keep waiting for him to say he loves me

and he hasn't.

Some men have to move

at their own pace, Mead'.

It's amazing, isn't it?

Whoa, Nelly.

He'll be all right.

So, what do you say? You boys hungry?

- No, we got to go.

- The limo's on its way up from Norwalk.

Marty, why don't you chopper them out?

Chopper? That's fucking awesome.

I'll call Doug. See if it's available.

I got Tony Soprano here.

He was asking if the chopper's available.

I know.

This new fucking girl told him.

I know.

About $15,000 between the five of them.

I know.

Righty-o.

Good news, gentlemen.

Sorry about the mess.

Mr. Soprano? Greg Erwitt.

You got any luggage?

- Just him.

- He's drunk.

He was just with the girls.

- So, Caldwell Airport, right?

- Fuck that, how about Maui?

Just climb on in and buckle up.

Oh, Jesus! Old Faithful.

Better here than at 2,000 feet.

I got to take a piss.

Oh, yeah!

Hasta la vista!

What the fuck you doing?

You're standing too close.

- Furio come by?

- He's already 40 minutes late.

He's probably worse off than me.

What, did you two go out?

Can I get a cup of coffee?

- Where the fuck is he?

- Was he out with somebody last night?

He's a single guy. How should I know?

Anyway, my memory's a little hazy.

I'm going back to bed.

When he gets here, don't wake me.

I'm not home now, leave a message.

- Hello?

- Hey, it's me.

Meadow, hi.

You all right?

You don't sound happy to hear from me.

- Of course I am. What's up?

- Nothing.

I was calling to invite you over

for dinner Sunday...

so Dad can see the place and meet the crew.

- How nice, what brought that on?

- I figure before break.

Finn invited me

to go ski in Canada next week.

- You want me to make anything?

- Nothing, I'm doing everything myself.

Maybe wine.

We only drink good wine

when parents come.

- Anyway, I got to go.

- Okay, bye.

- Nice place.

- Yeah, we open in a few weeks.

Carmine got the chef from Fontanella.

Killer wine list.

Look at this, it used to hang

in Fiorello LaGuardia's office.

Who's that, Carmine in that boat?

Gin and I are going over next month.

Salute.

Listen, Tony.

It's very important to Carmine

that we work something out.

If it's so important, where is he?

His son's leaving tomorrow.

He had family obligations.

So what is it, what's the offer?

Forty percent of the HUD take

across the board, starting now.

Forty?

I thought Little Carmine said

he was gonna take care of this.

He did, that's why the concession.

We were at 40 a week ago.

Whatever is done already is done.

You keep that for yourself.

The 40 percent only applies to future deals.

Let's go.

- Darlene, hi, how are you?

- Great. You know, I wanted to thank you.

Your husband's friend came by the office.

We got the listing.

- Which friend, who?

- Furio Gunther, is that how you say it?

His house just went on the market.

Hi, Penny. How are you?

All right, I'll talk to you later.

Who was that?

Silvio.

Listen to this...

Furio called,

the stupid fucking zip moved back to Italy.

Asshole left a message on the

answering machine at the Bing at 4:30 a.m.

Here, carry this.

- Flower delivery.

- Come on in, I'll be right there.

- Hi, Mrs. Soprano.

- Hi, Finn.

Mr. Soprano, Finn Detrolio.

Finn the dentist, right?

Someday. I'm still waiting

to hear from dental school.

Remind me to talk to you

about this loose filling later.

These are beautiful. Thank you.

- So, what smells so good in there?

- Mom's recipe for chicken cacciatore.

You see, I should've known.

- You always leave your door open like that?

- I'm cooking, it's hot.

I'll protect her, don't worry.

You hear that? Anybody bothers her,

he'll knock their teeth out.

Then he can put them back in, too.

These are my roommates, Colin and Alex.

So, you're her roommate, too?

Colin McDermott.

I've heard so much about you.

- So he lives here and you don't?

- Dad.

- I have a place on 118th Street.

- Good.

I'll show you around later.

So, Finn. Where you from?

My dad was in the Navy.

I was born in Japan, spent my first 10 years

on a base near the Azores.

- So, your dad was a sailor?

- Surgeon, actually.

- So, you've been all over the world.

- Yeah, pretty much.

- Would you like a mushroom?

- No, I don't think so.

- Have one, they're good.

- Maybe later.

I got to tell you, Mrs. Soprano...

your daughter absolutely keeps us alive

with her cooking.

Didn't you make macaroni and cheese once?

Well, I didn't want to brag.

Yo, guys, come here, look at this.

So, Finn, Meadow tells me

that you're going skiing.

For four days next week,

a whole bunch of us.

A friend of my dad has a house

in the Laurentians, near Montreal.

You can ski right onto the trails.

I saw pictures.

There's this humongous stone fireplace.

Just be careful,

with all those accidents you read about.

Sonny Bono.

- How about you, Alex? You ski?

- I used to.

- My family had a retreat near the Pyrenees.

- Pyrenees?

Alex is descended from Spanish royalty.

- Seriously?

- She's our little princess.

My great-great-grandmother was a countess.

- Which makes you...

- Technically I'm an Infanta de gracia.

But that wouldn't fit on her driver's license.

You might have told me

you were living with royalty.

My daughter's an Italian princess.

Does that count?

My wife, too, for that matter.

- There's more chicken if anyone wants.

- Yeah, I'll take a little more.

- So, A.J., what are you, a junior?

- Next year.

- Did you look at any schools yet?

- Not really.

I'll go to Rutgers, I guess.

Are you passing everything?

- I got a "C" on a paper I did on Billy Budd.

- A "C"?

He usually gets "D's" and "F's."

What's with you today, you okay?

- He worked so hard on it, why only a "C"?

- I don't know.

- Did you like Billy Budd?

- It was okay.

- My teacher says it's a gay book.

- Mr. Weggler?

That is ridiculous.

I've heard that before.

- That was written when, in the 19th century?

- I didn't even know they had fags back then.

- No offense.

- I'm not gay.

- You're not?

- No.

I read where they found

gay cave drawings in Africa.

Really? Shut up.

This stuff is pervading

our educational system...

not to mention movies, TV shows.

- What stuff?

- This gay nonsense they're teaching.

I am sorry,

but Billy Budd is not a homosexual book.

Actually, it is, Mother.

I saw the movie, Meadow,

with Terence Stamp.

Terence Stamp was in

Priscilla, Queen Of The Desert.

I don't know about that.

But Billy Budd

is a story of an innocent sailor...

being picked on by an evil boss.

Who is picking on him out of self-loathing...

caused by homosexual feelings

in a military context.

- Oh, please.

- Okay.

Actually, Mrs. Soprano...

there is a passage in the book...

where Melville compares Billy

to a nude statue of Adam before the Fall.

- Really?

- I thought you read it.

So, it's a biblical reference,

does that make it gay?

- What's the difference?

- I'm just saying it's ridiculous...

how everything is being sold

as homosexual nowadays.

Must be a gay book.

Billy Budd's the ship's florist, right?

Leslie Fiedler has written extensively

on gay themes in literature...

since the early '60s, Billy Budd in particular.

She doesn't know what she's talking about.

She's a "he," Mother, and he's lectured

at Columbia, as a matter of fact.

Well, maybe he's gay,

you ever thought of that?

They broke the urn.

He sent Little Paulie

to trash Carmine's restaurant?

He works for me.

What do I know?

A lot more than me, that's for sure.

Everybody does.

We've been friends a long time, Paulie.

I'm gonna go off the record here.

You know, I probably shouldn't be telling

you this, but since you ask...

I think certain people

are starting to wonder where your heart is.

People who? Tony?

What the fuck's that supposed to mean?

Right there. Your attitude lately.

Four months inside,

I'm supposed to skip down the street?

You're only as good as your last envelope.

You know that.

You have any idea what Albert

kicked up last week?

Fuck that fucking parakeet.

I got a relationship with Tony

Albert'll never have.

No matter how far he sticks his tongue

up Tony's ass.

All right, fuck this.

Every friendship has its peaks and valleys.

Right now, me and Tony are in the valley.

The cycle comes around, it'll be different.

I'm past worrying I gotta be the top earner

every fucking second.

So there you go then.

Don't give me that smart-alecky shit.

Don't forget,

I go back in this family to Johnny.

Before you even.

It's your fault anyway.

All this shit started with that Russian prick

when I had to go pick up your $5,000.

You know,

things might be a little different, Paulie...

if you'd accept

some responsibility for a change.

You're a wormy cocksucker, you know that?

I'm just telling you

how you're being fucking perceived!

Just worry

about how you're fucking perceived!

Nobody knows what the future holds,

my friend.

You heard what he did

to the fucking restaurant?

So how do you want to respond?

We got to break this guy's back.

I haven't wanted to do this.

But it's gotta be.

Call the union.

His mother was coming.

He was so excited, Ro.

We had a date to go to Colortile.

- A date?

- To look at tile for his mother's apartment.

No phone call, no note.

- I know I sound foolish.

- No, you don't, honey.

When I ran into Darlene at church...

I felt like somebody punched me

in the stomach.

I almost threw up the sacrament.

- What am I gonna do, Ro?

- What's there to do?

A couple of months,

you'll forget all about him.

I don't know if I can.

You don't think Tony

said something to him, do you?

I didn't see what all the fuss was,

particularly for what it cost.

Remember we saw Man of La Mancha

that time?

Richard Kiley stared at Ma the whole time

he was singing The lmpossible Dream.

- How I cried.

- Give me Sondheim any day.

When Salvatore was alive,

Minn went to the theater every week.

He did well, Salvatore.

- Barber scissors, right?

- Precision cutlery, 46 years.

There you are, sir.

Finally, the doggy bags.

I give these to my son.

Here's for Ma and me.

Parking and gas, I'll take care of.

I have $100 I need to break.

Come on, Ma.

Shoot, I forgot to cash my check.

- Don't you have direct deposit?

- She doesn't even have a savings account.

- I like to have the money right in my hands.

- Still keep it under the mattress?

Never you mind where I keep it.

I need change.

Where's my rolls?

- I don't know, Ma.

- Waiter?

These Parker House rolls,

they belong to my ma.

They do not. They were for the table.

Wrap these up, will you? Cellophane.

Come on, Ma.

What the fuck is this now?

Can I have your attention, please?

I repeat, can I have your attention, please?

Whoa. What's going on?

You the foreman? Dave Fusco.

I'm the business agent

for Local 87, Laborers.

It's come to our attention

this site is employing...

a substantial number of non-union laborers

in violation of our master contract.

Come on, what the fuck?

- Frankly, sir, I'm shocked and appalled.

- Yeah, right. What are you, fucking kidding?

This site is shut down until further notice.

Hey, how you doing?

We just want you to know how glad

we are a guy like you is on the jury.

That mob thing, that Junior Soprano trial.

- I got that.

- $14.20.

Hey, what are you doing?

It's a privilege.

Hard-working guy.

Wife and two kids.

Performing a civic duty

we should all take part in.

We know you'll do the right thing.

- Hello?

- Hey, it's me, what are you doing?

Nothing, just reading. You all right?

Yeah, I just wanted to talk to you.

Did I do something to piss you off?

What are you talking about?

I know you were kinda mad at me

the other night.

- Why would I be mad?

- I don't know.

Anyway, the reason I called.

It's kind of near my birthday

and I was thinking we'd do our tradition.

Go to the Plaza for tea

under Eloise's picture.

Really? That's so wonderful.

Are you crying?

I'm just happy, that's so thoughtful.

I was thinking tomorrow. It's the only day

I have before we go to Canada.

Well, I have my nails in the morning,

but I could...

drive in and meet you after that.

Actually, I'll be on the West Side,

maybe you can pick me up?

Sure. I'll take

the George Washington Bridge.

Why take the bridge

if you're going to midtown?

- I know how to get to the city, Meadow.

- All right. I'll see you tomorrow.

- How's 1:00?

- That's fine.

On second thought, I'll just meet you there.

- I love you.

- I love you, too.

Well, it happened.

Stubborn old fuck shut down the Esplanade.

This business agent

he owns was there from the union.

Put on an Emmy-caliber performance.

Let him run this 40 percent bullshit by

the other bosses, see if they put up with it!

If you want,

we could torch a few of his cement trucks.

No. No retaliation, counter-retaliation.

- We just sit tight.

- It's gonna cost us, T.

- That's why Carmine did it.

- It's gonna cost him, too.

- I brought these!

- Sorry.

I am not wearing the gloves.

Soprano family tradition, notwithstanding.

I didn't think so.

But I'm wearing mine.

Where'd you park?

There's a lot over on 57th Street.

Is that okay or would you like

to lecture me on parking, too?

What are you talking about?

I figure since you're also an authority

on driving directions.

- Very funny.

- Not to mention literature.

So it's the Billy Budd thing.

I was merely pointing out to you...

what serious literary critics

have to say about the book.

These look delicious.

So, how is Finn?

When are you leaving for Montreal?

Wednesday morning. He'll pick me up

at home, I have my ski clothes there...

so I'm gonna stay over the night before

and do some laundry.

- Is that a problem?

- No, of course not.

As long as he stays in the guest room.

He's not staying, Mother.

Well, the way you two hang on each other...

Well, excuse me, Mrs. Danvers.

What do you have against love?

- Nothing.

- Why are you not happy for me?

What, are you jealous?

Just 'cause you and Dad are middle-aged?

Watch it, young lady.

- What, am I a child?

- Actually, yes.

Your apartment

in Manhattan, notwithstanding.

What?

I'm sure your friend the princess

found us quite amusing.

You're the one who wanted me

to go to an lvy League school.

These are the type who go there.

There are also people...

who grew up without indoor plumbing

but you would know even less about them.

Would you rather I transfer

to Montclair State?

Then maybe I can drop out like you did.

I'm sorry.

I invited you here to have a nice time,

not to belittle me.

Maybe you'll be happier

if I didn't come around.

Except that won't happen.

'Cause you'll need money in about a week.

You know what?

To hell with not coming around...

I'll just transfer to Northwestern

so I can be near Finn when he goes.

Yeah, sure.

Carmine, hey, what are you doing here?

- I'm a guest. My housekeeper's daughter.

- Small world.

The groom's dad is my third cousin.

Beautiful ceremony.

So, listen,

about all this stuff that's going on.

- Tony and all.

- What's your name again?

Paulie Gualtieri. Jersey?

Your father was run over by a trolley, right?

Johnny talked to you about me, right?

Johnny who? Sack?

Talk to me about what?

- Anything good?

- Just bills.

- So, you never told me about your lunch.

- It was horrible, since you ask.

She's threatening to transfer

to Northwestern.

- What brought that on?

- Boyfriend probably, Finn.

Maybe she wants to put some space

between us, I don't know.

- Why would she wanna do that?

- You know, frankly, I don't care.

The way I feel now, if I never see her again,

that would be just fine.

- How could you say that?

- Look, Tony, I don't feel well.

My joints ache, my stomach is all queasy.

You asked, I told.

Just making conversation.

If you don't care what the answer is,

don't ask!

All right, calm down!

I don't have enough on my plate?

One of my key guys disappeared

to Naples for Christ's sakes!

Have you seen my Nordica goggles?

Yeah, they're in the basement.

I had to solder something in my computer.

- What're you reading?

- Death in Venice.

Mr. Weggler assigned it.

Where's Mom?

Bed, I guess.

- She seem weird to you lately?

- How?

- Angry, sad?

- I guess she's been crying a lot.

- Since when?

- Last week.

- I think she's upset about Furio's dad.

- Why, what do you mean?

Well, he died.

And I think Furio went back

to Italy or something.

- She was going over there a lot.

- To Furio's?

She was helping him decorate.

And she made me go, too.

It was really a pain in the ass.

She took you there? More than once?

I don't know, a couple, three times.

Oh, dude.

- Meeting's over.

- Jesus!

Who's there?

What're you doing?

Minn! Your door was open.

I brought you something from my ma.

What are you doing in my house?

Take it easy. I didn't know you were home.

- Your car was gone.

- It's being repaired.

- What are you doing?

- Calling your mother.

I know you.

You got any coffee?

My kitchen's all wiped off for the night.

Well, this week then, I'll bring my ma...

the three of us,

we'll go have lunch over at Pal's Cabin.

You're here to rob me.

No, what are you crazy?

Just calm down, okay?

You're a disgrace to your mother!

Don't set that thing off!

You think I'm here to hurt you?

- You've known me since I'm a kid.

- Help!

What are you doing?

Fuck!

Minn, wait!

You were always a little bastard!

Shut up with that fucking mouth!

Help!

Oh, no.

- There's the skip.

- Hey.

For you.

I know things have been slow lately.

That ought to bring us up to date.

- What'd you do, rob a bank?

- Back in business, T.

- What, are you going to track?

- Thinking about it.

Ton'! Johnny Sack for you.

- What's that prick want?

- I don't know.

Let me take this.

Hello?

Thought we did.

All right, I'll meet you.

Did you say goodbye to your mother?

She went to the market

while I was in the shower.

She loves you, Meadow.

You know that, don't you?

- I know.

- Come here.

Cut her some slack, will you?

You gotta understand,

she's going through a rough time right now.

- How come?

- Change of life, maybe.

Her kids are growing up.

We talked about this in counseling,

me and her.

You guys went to counseling?

Yeah, it's part of the therapy

for the panic attacks and all.

- You were in therapy?

- You knew that, didn't you?

Oh, my God.

On some level she may feel...

unfulfilled.

Switch on Rosie O'Donnell,

that's all these women bitch about.

A little of that's probably my fault anyway.

It's an epidemic, right?

- You really think that's it?

- Yeah.

It's probably the beginning of menopause,

like you said.

All right, you go have a good time.

Thanks.

Well, here I am, what is it?

We go back a long way, Tony.

We've come way too far

to let it all go to shit.

With all due respect, you wanna go

down memory lane, put it in second gear.

The Esplanade now.

I wish for Carmine's own sake he'd ease off.

Why don't you tell him that?

He's so easily upset these days.

His teeth.

I'll tell you, that restaurant thing didn't help.

He hurt my appraiser.

What was I supposed to do?

It's on page four

of the boss manual, John. Jesus!

You're preaching to the choir, Tony.

You don't even wanna hear

how many of his decisions...

end up lightening my pockets.

Why you telling me all this, John?

Because at heart,

I know you're a pragmatist.

As I am.

I'm telling you now...

Carmine won't bend.

And I just told you, I won't.

If Carmine's health were bad...

if something were to happen to him,

God forbid...

all of this unpleasantness would just...

John, Carmine's fine.

Yes. He's very healthy.

Thank God.

Call me.

Holy shit.

As soon as we get off this barge,

I never wanna see you again.

- Yes?

- Tonight?

No.

You're home early.

What are you watching?

How to Marry a Millionaire.

Do I have a fever?

Maybe. A little.

- You want some Advil?

- I took some.

I talked to Meadow this morning.

She left for her ski trip.

She's a good kid, Carm.

She hates my guts, Tony.

She doesn't hate you.

She's gonna call you.

Come on, you know how that works.

Finn will go.

She'll forget all about him

in a couple of weeks.

In a few years she'll find somebody else,

settle down.

Maybe she won't, who knows.

She can do whatever she wants.

She's becoming a wonderful woman, Carm.

Smart, beautiful...

independent woman that you created.

Isn't that what you dreamed about?

Yes.

I told you, you didn't have to come.

Yeah, let you drive yourself

when you look this bad?

Yeah?

He's out.

He looks good.

- Talk to him. Get a sense.

- Okay.

Your cousin's out of rehab. Looks good.

Okay, I'm sorry about that.

Lyme titers, sed rate...

inconclusive.

Score one for the Italians.

- You don't have lupus.

- Thank God for that.

Think we might be looking

at a viral syndrome...

maybe mono.

- Oh, God.

- How's your emotional level?

Stress off the charts lately? Like all of us?

- What do you mean?

- Death, major change of any kind?

No, just the usual.

One day runs into the next.

Stay on the Advil.

Your temperature goes up, you call me.

You know, it's amazing.

I got a relative who's got a heroin problem.

The people that need drugs,

all they can get is shit like Advil.

Thank you for coming.

That was Grove Street.

I gotta make a stop down in Sea Bright.

- I don't feel well.

- You get some sea air.

- We'll go to Barr's. You won't have to cook.

- Goddamn it.

Yeah, I really want lobster.

The student loan people called.

We're late

with Allegra's nursing school payment.

- Where you going?

- Nordstrom's. They're having a sale.

Sallie Mae calls, and your response to that

is to go shopping?

It's a sale, John. I need clothes for Italy.

- We're still going, aren't we?

- Might be time for a little belt-tightening.

The bottom line is I'll be losing money

if the Esplanade is shut down.

We should try to go.

I spoke to Nicole Lupertazzi.

When she and Little Carmine stayed

at the Hassler last year, he loved it.

That's good for Little Carmine, then.

His fucking wallet isn't tied

to the goddamned Esplanade, god damn it!

John, why are you yelling at me?

John, what'd I do?

Is that my father's truck?

What the hell's going on?

Me to know, you to find out.

So, what do you think, Mel?

Don't see no dry rot.

Mrs. Soprano, Virginia Lupo,

REIMAX Community Realty.

Hi.

That's right. It's even got a name.

- Where did this come from?

- That's if we can get it.

This is a huge amount of money.

And your construction project shut down...

That can't last forever. It's for the family.

As the kids get older,

it gets harder to keep us all together...

but this is a draw.

Bring friends down,

have big cookouts, jet ski.

And for us, too, though.

When we were piss poor...

this was the biggest caviar wish

we could come up with.

Kind of reminds you

of the Kennedy compound, don't it?

Can I ask you why they're selling?

My husband said, "If we can get it."

Well, there is a buyer already.

In fact, the house is sold.

But there's a chance that these buyers

won't qualify for financing.

And I know the owner, Alan.

He lives just next door, here.

He's an attorney.

If you're offering cash,

I thought you should at least see the place.

So, it's not really for sale.

It's just as well,

because we couldn't swing this.

There's Al!

The jury has claimed they are deadlocked.

However, I'm inclined to agree

with prosecution.

I'm going to give them additional time

to reach a verdict.

We should've had a hung jury mistrial.

Object, for Christ's sake!

Allen charge. It has to play out.

Ladies and gentlemen,

you've communicated that you feel...

that you're unable to come

to a unanimous verdict in this case.

Now, I know that you've been at it

for a while, and it can be frustrating.

But we've all spent a lot of time on this trial.

And being as I have no reason to believe

that another jury...

with the same evidence

would be better able to reach a verdict...

I'm going to ask you to go back in there

and reason with each other...

and apply the law...

and come back in here with a verdict.

If not, I wanna move on.

Here.

Did somebody check the order,

make sure we got everything this time?

Yes.

Well, keep me posted.

Dinner's served!

- Get any sleep?

- Couldn't.

We have absolutely no business

getting into something like that house...

with A.J. two years away from college.

That was Virginia Lupo on the phone.

She hasn't heard from the owner.

I guess that deal's gonna go through.

I wonder who they are.

Motherfucking, goddamn orange-peel beef!

Call them up.

You got me plain soup, right?

We'll be finished eating the rest

before he gets back.

Go through the order while they're still here.

What good does that do?

He's still gotta get it and come back again.

- What happened?

- They left out part of the order.

- Call them up.

- Sit down and eat.

I guess some things

just weren't meant to be.

What are we talking about?

I was thinking of buying your mother

a house down on the shore.

Un-fucking-believable!

- Would we have a gym?

- It's the shore.

Wouldn't you want to be outdoors?

Forget that. You're fined $3 for the F-word.

I heard Dad say "mother-F"

when I was coming down the stairs.

He's fined, too.

We're gonna make this policy work.

It's too late.

What's going on?

You know, it does seem like a good value,

even at that price.

Waterfront property, in that area.

We probably wouldn't get hurt,

as an investment.

You're the one that took real estate classes.

Didn't you say that a person shouldn't look

at a house as an investment?

I know you.

If you don't get the place, you'll sulk.

- And I'll be the wet blanket.

- I'll sulk?

I was sleeping.

If you want me to sign off...

We probably wouldn't lose money.

But if you don't want to go through with it,

believe me, that's fine, too.

But if you did, Virginia Lupo's

phone number is on the bureau.

And, you know...

better to act quickly if, you know...

More is lost by indecision than

by wrong decision, that's all I'm saying.

Hey, Jack Lemmon.

How's Lee Remick?

So, how the fuck are you?

- That place help you?

- Yeah.

I found out about strengths I have

I didn't even know I had.

- You look fucking great.

- Thank you.

Thank everybody

for forcing me to deal with it.

- Especially Adriana.

- You're not shooting junk, right?

Fuck, no. I'm completely clean and sober.

Which one of the 12 steps you on now?

The only one I haven't done is go around

to all the people I fucked over...

while I was using, and apologize.

Maybe you shouldn't do that one.

- You know, let sleeping dogs lie.

- That's what I was thinking.

Maybe in a couple of cases,

I'll send flowers, or cash in some cases.

- Where's Carmine at?

- No change whatsoever.

Where are you at?

I think a movement from below

is not palatable to the other bosses.

It's what they fear most.

A movement from outside,

it's more forgivable...

and more understandable,

given the facts, here.

I mean, you've been reasonable.

If I do it, what do you do for me?

I take a sad song and make it better...

with the other families, as regards you.

You're smart to have reservations...

but there's differences

between this and Castellano.

Yes, you still got the four other families

who could raise a stink...

but Andy's my brother-in-law.

I have their ear.

I'm gonna pass.

- Fuck are you talking about?

- I'm taking the risk.

Fuck what were you talking

about last time then?

What would it take?

Fuck even one percentage point.

All claims to my HUD business are irrigated.

All right.

All future construction projects,

60-40 in my favor.

What I'm gonna tell you

is for your ears only, and Sil's.

We're gonna take out Carmine Lupertazzi.

Johnny Sack's gonna go to war.

No, he's not.

That's right.

See, Carmine's got major income

besides construction, Johnny don't.

Only other person hurting worse

than either of the pricks is me.

Whacking the boss

of one of the five families?

- Johnny's a snaky fuck.

- That's something to be considered.

But remember, also, how deeply hurt

fucking Johnny felt over Carmine...

not backing him

on those slurs against Ginny.

Life's funny.

Carmine never made that right with John.

I knew back then that was a mistake.

Gonna hit Carmine soon?

If I'm gonna buy this house,

I need the Esplanade scratch.

It shouldn't look like what it is.

Home invasion, carjacking,

fucking ingrown toenail...

I know these black guys from Irvington.

That's the right idea.

It can never get out

who whacked the old fuck.

- Are they trustworthy, these guys?

- Yeah.

Make sure.

Help you?

Hi, how you doing? I'm Tony Soprano.

I was here with my wife the other day

with Virginia Lupo.

- Right. Alan Sapinsly.

- How are you?

So, what do you think?

She says those other people

are gonna go through with it.

I was gonna go talk to you, frankly,

after I took another look at the place.

This is galling because I don't think

they're going to qualify for financing...

and we gave them this God-awful

90-day escrow. My wife's doing.

She liked Mrs. Kim.

I can do 15 days. Shortest allowable by law.

Never tire of painting this.

- You'd be coming in with cash, right?

- Yeah.

Fuck this.

Dr. Kim, hey, Alan Sapinsly.

It's not?

Well, we've got serious problems.

On the house. Sure.

He's going into surgery,

doesn't want to talk there in the prep room.

Yes, I'm here.

What does your lender say?

Jesus, Doctor.

I take almost no comfort from those words.

And were I you, I wouldn't either.

I'm aware we have a contract in place.

Doctor, please, I'm an attorney.

Look, Cho-Sun. Wait, you're not listening.

Simply stated, I want the chance to sell

to a more qualified buyer...

if I can find one at this late date.

Actually, it's very...

Wait, do you want to do all the talking

and I'll just stand here?

Thank you.

You call Virginia Lupo, she calls the bank,

you get your deposit back.

Your wife's a grown woman, she'll adjust.

Dr. Kim, I spent 10 years as a litigator.

Buy this property, I'll make your life

a misery. I can tort you into the poorhouse.

I've got an overseas call.

Think it over. You have Virginia's number.

Who knows? We'll see.

I wouldn't want to be the patient

he's gonna operate on.

Let's hold a good thought?

Hello.

Virginia, sure, hi.

We did?

All right.

Picture the fishing off that dock.

God, it really is beautiful, isn't it?

First time I felt good signing papers.

Dad, blue crabs!

Oh, my God, this is nice.

You'll inherit this.

Dad, what a thing to say.

Anthony Soprano...

you are full of surprises.

It's good to see a smile on your face.

Praise the Lord for sobriety.

The higher power.

- That 12-step shit doing for you?

- Yeah.

Thanks for asking.

We sold you "H" when that was your thing.

Still we here

when it's wop-whacking time in Brooklyn.

- It should look like a carjacking.

- See?

That's why you came to us.

That's some stereotyping shit.

He goes mall-walking inside King's Plaza.

7:00 a.m. Tuesdays and Thursdays. Regular.

Macy's entrance, Avenue U and Flatbush.

You get the down payment?

Next sound you hear...

Home of the burger, what's your beef?

I'm sorry. I have wrong number.

This is the Soprano residence.

Tony?

No, this is Anthony.

Yes. The handsome boy.

Who is this?

Is your mother there?

Ma, telephone!

- Who is it?

- I don't know.

Is this Mrs. Soprano?

Yes, it is.

I used to fuck your husband.

A.J., I've got it!

Tony loves me, you know.

If it wasn't for his kids,

you'd be out on the street.

What do you want?

I thought you might want to know

we have some sadness in common.

He has been sleeping

with my cousin, Svetlana.

That's right.

While she was taking care of his uncle.

You piece of shit.

Yes, I'm a piece of shit.

I'm a piece of shit which the world,

every morning, strains...

and pushes out of its butt!

If you can,

imagine where you are on the pecking order.

You call my house again...

you ever speak...

to one of my children again,

I will track you down, and I will kill you.

We have got guns here.

I mean it.

You remember my cousin?

She was also his mama's caregiver,

with the one leg.

It is so absurd, why would I make it up?

What the fuck?

- What the fuck are you doing?

- You fucking shitbag!

Don't come up here!

Get the fuck out of this house!

What's the matter?

Carm, what did I do now?

What did I do?

Your mother told you what I said

to your father about her psoriasis?

I was just trying to be honest with him.

You have made a fool of me for years

with these whores.

Now it's come into our home?

- What are you talking about?

- The Russian called.

Your son answered the telephone.

Oh, Jesus.

She's insane. She's fucking certifiable.

I told you, you can't believe

nothing she says, whatever it is.

We haven't seen each other like that.

I swear to Christ. I told you!

- What about her cousin?

- What?

No.

The nurse who took care of your mother,

who I liked?

Who I talked to on the telephone

about your mother's alopecia...

and her bowel movements?

Who you told me came from an agency?

Who I shared vodka with

the night your mother died?

You've been fucking her?

There is not a shred of truth in that.

Why'd the cousin make it up?

Because she's jealous!

Why you, fuck...

Let go of me!

Just get out, Tony.

Don't even say anything.

I'm not going anywhere, and you know it.

So, let's just lie down, we'll calm down...

Get your hands off of me!

Don't you touch me ever again.

Where's A.J.?

So, you've had a one-legged one now?

That's nice.

You've had quite a time on my watch.

The pre-school assistant...

- the weightlifter...

- At least I never stole from you.

Who stole, Tony? Who, me?

My own wife, $40,000. From the birdfeeder.

The birdfeeder.

Listen to yourself, you sound demented.

What, you want to hit me, Tony? Go ahead.

Just go away, please,

I can't stand it anymore.

- I didn't do it.

- I found her fingernail, Tony!

You saw it that day, on your night table.

I found it, and I put it there.

I know you saw it.

That...

What? That what?

Nothing.

What?

You know what I don't understand, Tony?

What does she have that I don't have?

I did not carry on an affair with the cousin...

and I will take a goddamn polygraph

to that effect.

I want you to leave this house, Tony.

Please. I want you to leave me alone.

What about the kids?

Yeah, it's horrible. God help them.

Open the fucking door, or I'll kick it in!

She's not there.

Probably she hides in Brighton Beach.

She blames you for Ronnie Zellman.

You beat him with belt.

He felt weak in front of her.

She told me he couldn't perform.

They broke up not so long after.

Oh, fuck that!

Who told her about us? Not you, please.

It was what's-her-name, right?

The one who walked in on us.

We had bad argument over

FICA and federal withholding.

I take from her paycheck.

Jesus fucking Christ.

FICA and federal withholding?

I gotta go home tomorrow,

and I gotta tell my kids we're separating.

It's going to rip them up.

Divorce is very hard for kids.

After this, they don't trust.

I'm child of divorce.

I shouldn't have been drinking

in the afternoon.

How about a little sympathy here?

You got ice in your veins?

I had ice in my veins on your uncle couch?

Most expensive piece of ass I ever had.

Right. I know what you are thinking, too.

Take care, Tony.

You're a strong guy, you'll be all right.

What's up?

So, how's it going with Christopher home?

Good. That place was a godsend.

So, the wedding's back on?

We haven't talked about it.

Except...

Except what?

He says he isn't sure anymore

he'd be a good father...

after killing my dog.

You have kids?

So, how's Tony?

He's been house-hunting down the shore?

Beautiful place, too.

What about Ralph?

Cifaretto? Heard anything there?

Chrissy says

he has a pretty serious drug problem, too.

He may have hit bottom somewhere.

Chrissy says he wants to...

you know, help get him in recovery

when he resurfaces.

You know Ralph's

second-in-command, Vito?

Yeah, the fat guy.

When Christopher was away, I had

that asshole calling me every five minutes...

to see if I "needed anything."

No! Does Christopher know?

You kidding me? He'd kill him.

Not really, I mean...

You know, he'd be angry.

I'm supposed to meet my mom.

Go ahead.

Thank you.

I saw your car. Qu pasa?

Things aren't very good at home...

so I came down to sleep on my boat.

And it was being refinished,

and the smell of the paint drove me out.

I'm sorry, I've been up to bat three times.

Yeah, I think she's thinking of separating.

What you wanna do,

go around and meet perfunctorily...

with all the top divorce attorneys

in your area.

That way, if the worst happens,

they can't take her on as a client.

Conflict of interest.

- That's pretty good.

- Just do it, fella.

But you must find a hotel

until you officially take possession.

Something happens to you, I'm liable.

Let me just clean up a little.

- Hi, I'm Tony.

- I know who you are. Come in, please.

Tony, what's up?

You know that thing we were talking about,

this thing with me and my wife?

Alan just told me.

The thing is, in light of it,

I was going over it in the shower...

and I realized that

as much as I want this place...

now is not the time for me

to be buying a house.

Sorry, I know it's a big disappointment.

You ought to see how I feel.

I want to get my deposit back,

and I'll get out of your life.

It's just not that clear to me

how your marital situation...

negates the purchase.

I mean, most of this was for my kids.

For my wife.

- That is so sad.

- Excuse me, honey.

We had that place on the market

a year and a half.

We had two offers: you and the Kims.

So, what about them?

The Kims? I can't go back to them.

I guess I could, but I'm not going to.

They'd hold my feet to the fire.

I don't want to be insensitive

with what you got on your plate...

but we had a signed contract.

- Alan.

- No! Baloney!

I dumped a buyer

'cause they seemed to love the place.

- It was the cash and the short escrow.

- Look, who knows what's going to happen?

You guys could be back together

in a month...

leaving A.S., here, fucked in the ass.

Whatever.

What's the big deal?

Why don't you just let me out of this thing?

I can't, I have partners.

Excuse me.

I got to take this.

It was very nice to meet you.

But I'm not buying your house.

That guy's a mobster.

They buy houses from people,

they conduct business.

I dealt with them

on that Neapolitan copyright thing for Enya.

I'll probably let him walk...

but that's a negotiation,

which he knows full well.

You don't have any partners.

Thank you, Rabbi.

I just talked to Carmine.

He's ready to settle.

Are you kidding me?

Everything's in motion.

Welcome to my world.

Have a seat.

I'm sorry to learn

about the marital situation, Tony.

Our thing is more than a livelihood.

One of us suffers a personal tragedy,

falls ill and whatnot...

we all feel it deeply...

no matter what kind of acrimony

is in the air.

What's in the air is

you're losing a lot of money.

We all agree

we want to get back to earning...

but I reiterate again...

Zellman had a hand in HUD,

so I can't, as a matter of principle...

relinquish my claim.

So?

I said 40, you said 5.5,

which was ridiculous.

Let's split the difference. 20 percent.

All right, 15.

You know what?

In the interest of putting this shit to bed...

if that's what it's going to take...

15.

Good.

My son was a big help in all this.

I want you always to remember that...

even after I'm gone.

But I'm not going no place.

Healthy as a fucking rhino, this guy.

You stay that way.

Did you get any sleep?

A little, I think.

Maybe it would be better

if you went back to school.

Got your head into your schoolwork.

Be with your friends.

I'd just be thinking about

what's going on here all the time.

I just keep thinking...

I used to feel so superior...

because so many of my friends

had these fucked-up, divorced parents.

I guess I did, too.

And, like, Finn...

I'm not saying I want kids, but if we did...

I used to imagine...

we'd all be together

on the holidays, Christmas...

all around this big fire.

You will have a wonderful future, Meadow.

We had a lot of wonderful times as a family.

All predicated on bullshit.

I don't want to fight with you, Meadow.

That's not true. I think you know it.

It was 'cause of Furio, wasn't it?

Who said anything about Furio?

I have never been unfaithful to your father.

Daddy was.

This is not something I want to talk about.

I'm sorry.

Not now, not ever.

Jesus, how could you eat shit from him

for all those years?

Fresh pepper?

Just a little.

About you and Carmela...

I'm sorry.

This is not al dente.

Hello?

Fucking amazing, huh?

Well, I guess that's that.

Things have a momentum of their own.

More is lost by indecision

than wrong decision.

That's a good point.

Okay, then. You'll hear from me.

That was J.S.

- We're not on for Tuesday no more, right?

- Wrong.

Johnny Sack.

I always worked very fucking hard

to make him think I liked him.

I'd try to feel him out about shit.

I think he and Ralphie were in bed

in some way.

It went bad with that joke shit.

We reached an agreement.

When Tony gave him his final number,

Carmine's Depends blew out.

Oh, my fucking back!

That cot at the pork store,

not really good for sleeping, T.

With all due love and respect to Carmela...

I'd put her shit out on the curb

and let it rain on her.

You can't disrupt the kids.

That shit traumatizes them for life.

It's his house as much as it is hers.

More. I paid for it.

That's right, T, I'm on your side on this.

She's the one who talked me into

buying it in the first place.

Now I'm out in the streets?

These fucking phones.

We were better off years ago.

What?

I hadn't heard from you.

My partners and I have decided

to let you out of your obligation.

I want my $200,000 by the end of the week.

As to that, I'm not rescinding the deposit.

That's what they're for,

to hold parties to agreements.

If you want to make me an offer...

No, I think I'll buy the house.

My family has parties

till 4:00, 5:00 in the morning.

I can show damages.

I'm being generous in not bringing action

to enforce the sale.

Damages?

- They haven't started yet.

- Listen to me.

There's a paper trail to our dispute,

and Virginia Lupo's a witness.

A hair on my head gets mussed,

the authorities will know where to look.

Alan, you misread me entirely.

You must think I'm a fucking thug.

Just be forewarned.

You're not getting your deposit back!

Jesus, you scared me to death.

This is my house, Carmela,

and I'm not leaving.

Get out of here, Tony.

I asked you once, nicely.

All right, look.

I know what happened was wrong.

I was an asshole, and I apologize.

I'm sorry. It won't happen again.

I said, "Get out."

Make me.

I have an appointment with a lawyer, Tony.

I will get a restraining order.

A lawyer? Go ahead.

You know what? Call him.

Here, use my phone.

Fine, stay.

Come here. You're not going anywhere.

Let go of me. Your son will be home.

- You want him to see you like this?

- You'd love that, wouldn't you?

- I'm not leaving here.

- I don't love you anymore!

I don't want you!

You are not sleeping in my bed, Tony!

The thought of it now makes me sick!

Jesus Christ Almighty,

I'm going fucking crazy!

Think Mom's going to let you stay out here?

Let? This is my house.

Ain't it better when I'm here?

Well, sure.

Come on. We'll bring them down

to the garage tomorrow.

What time is it?

- You just getting home?

- We were studying.

Oh, yeah?

From now on,

I'm going to take a bigger hand in this shit.

I'm going to be right out here.

I want you to be respectful to your mother.

She's having a hard time.

- Did she say something?

- I'm just saying.

All right. Go to bed. It's a school night.

The audiences have been given

an abundance of programming...

and they vote every hour,

every minute, every five minutes...

with their remotes.

Thanks, by the way,

for drinking wine in front of me.

- Hello?

- Call it off.

- The old guy.

- Yeah?

- Something don't make sense here.

- You think it's a setup?

Not necessarily, but...

our friend is very anxious

to pass the ball, the prick.

But nobody can know

this was ever considered.

I'll offer my guys

half of what they'd have got.

- That should do it.

- I just want you to make sure.

I told you that.

So it behooves us

to protect what we've earned.

It's all there.

If you get the taste

to chip a little "H" again...

- don't forget to call us.

- Like we said, you'll keep this quiet.

- I got the mouth on a statue, nigga.

- Word.

See you around.

He ain't quit. He's just freshening up.

Don't say jack shit to Kaesha about this...

or she be haunting my ass

for that child support...

What?

I was wondering when you would move

those theater seats down to the garage.

Seriously?

That's what you came out here

to talk to me about?

They are on the lawn. They'll ruin the grass.

Bad for the grass!

I can't put the sprinklers on over there

without the seats getting wet.

They're your seats.

I don't want to wreck them.

I'll get right on it.

Why do you have to make

even this little thing so difficult?

What possible reason could you have

for coming here...

to talk to me about theater seats

except to bust my balls?

I wanted to water while I was out.

Yeah, right.

Fuck you.

It's going to cost you $3.

You know what, Tony? What's done is done.

We are where we are, and it's for the best.

But just for the record,

or it might even interest you to know...

that I might actually have gone on

with your cheating and your bullshit...

if your attitude around here

had been even the least bit loving...

cooperative, interested.

Whose idea was Whitecaps?

It is just a bigger version of an emerald ring,

so you can keep on with your other life.

You don't know me at all.

I know you better than anybody, Tony.

Even your friends.

- Which is probably why you hate me.

- Hate you?

Don't worry, I'm going to hell when I die.

Nice thing to say to a person

heading into an MRI.

You know, Tony...

I have always been sorry I said that.

You were my guy.

You could be so sweet.

Nobody could make me laugh like you.

Who the fuck did you think I was

when you married me?

You knew my father. You grew up around

Dickie Moltisanti and your uncle Eddie.

Where do you get off

acting surprised and miffed...

when there are women on the side?

- You knew the deal.

- Deal?

Your mom talks all she wants...

about what's-his-name

and his chain of drugstores.

Both of us know the other boyfriend

you were debating marrying...

was Jerry Tufi,

with his father's snowplow business.

And we now know that

that wouldn't have suited you at all.

You really don't hear me, do you?

- You think, for me, it's all about things.

- No, I forced all this shit on you.

What you really crave is a little Hyundai

and a simple gold heart on a chain.

You are so fucking hateful.

Can I tell you something, Tony?

Don't pretend like I got a choice.

The last year...

I have been dreaming, and fantasizing,

and in love with Furio.

Every morning,

when he'd come to pick you up...

I would look forward to it

all night long, in bed...

next to you.

Those nights when you were

actually in the bed.

And he would ring the doorbell...

I felt like my heart

would come out of my chest.

He would smile, and we'd talk.

And then you would come down the stairs.

And I felt probably like someone

who is terminally ill...

and, somehow,

they manage to forget it for a minute.

And then it all comes back.

- He'd talk to you! Poor you!

- He made me feel like I mattered!

You asked me the other day

what Irina's cousin has that you don't have.

And I thought about it,

because it is a pretty good question.

She is sexy, even with the one pin gone,

but that's not it.

I could converse with her,

because she had something to say!

I am here! I have things to say!

Besides "Bring the chairs down,"

and "Did you sign the living trust?"

She is a grown woman

who has been kicked around...

and she's been on her own,

and has had to fight and struggle.

Unlike me, is that it?

Who the fuck wanted it like this?

Who the fuck pissed and moaned

at just the idea...

of me with a real estate license?

Free to sit back for 20 fucking years

and fiddle with the air conditioning...

and fucking bitch and complain to me!

To your priest! Fuck it!

Who knew, all this time,

you wanted Tracy and Hepburn?

What about the thousand other pigs

you had your dick in over the years?

The strippers, the cocktail waitresses.

Were you best friends with all of them, too?

You fucking hypocrite.

The judge is calling you all

into the courtroom.

Okay, thanks.

The number you are calling was blocked...

and cannot be called back

using your last-call-return service.

"We are still hopelessly deadlocked.

"One juror refuses to deliberate,

and can't be reasoned with.

"What should we do now?"

Your Honor,

again, I must move for a mistrial.

Your Honor, the government asks

that you give them another Allen charge...

to go back and try again.

As much as I'd like to,

this jury's been at it a long time.

I don't see where one or two more days

is going to change anything.

Bring in the jury.

Ladies and gentlemen of the jury,

I see that you are hopelessly deadlocked...

and I have no choice

but to declare a mistrial.

I know that you did the best you could.

You have performed a valuable service.

You may be excused.

Stay in touch.

Call me when your grandson is born.

I wouldn't want to think of you on that day.

Dad.

Battle of Tarawa.

Marines had no air cover.

It was a slaughter.

War? I don't know.

There's Coke in there.

Can I move in here?

- What's wrong with your room?

- I can't take it anymore.

Mom's just on my case all the time.

My dinner got cold.

So, I was on the phone with Devin.

We had to do an algebra problem.

Look, I told you

she's having a hard time right now.

- She goes to a lot of trouble to cook meals.

- I didn't ask her to.

And it's not fair.

Why do I have to get stuck with her?

Don't talk about your mother like that.

You don't have to put up

with her shit anymore.

I heard you tell her off out by the pool.

You're not staying in here.

- Get that out of your head right now.

- Why not?

It would hurt her feelings that you don't

want to be in her part of the house.

Your old amp's hooked back up.

Be careful with that speaker.

You banged the other one.

What are you gonna do

without your front speakers?

- I'll take them.

- They're just borrowing them.

I'll come back for the amp.

You can come here and watch TV with me,

but you can't stay here.

Fuck.

Go buy her one of those CDs she likes,

and some flowers.

Tell her you're sorry,

that you'll try to be more considerate.

We should call everybody, have a big party.

Call Volpe's and have them send over

a couple of pies, but that's it.

There's a hearty Burgundy still in the fridge.

I don't suppose Tony would come...

with what's going on up at that abattoir.

I don't think so, Uncle Jun'.

I want to get one large cheese and tomato,

and then one with alici.

Yeah, it's me.

I got you to hold my hand

Babe

I got you, babe

I got you, babe

Go down by the cellar door. See if

Murf left the envelope under the flagstone.

He wouldn't have been around today.

I'll go look later.

Do it now. Is that asking so much?

I just went through the trial of my life.

To wonderful friends...

to Alan's shark fin soup...

and to a wonderful day.

- Hear, hear.

- Cheers.

And now, ladies and gentlemen,

the Sands Hotel proudly presents...

the star of our show...

direct from the bar, Dean Martin!

What the hell?

It's that boat.

"Stugots"?

Fucking goombah trash.

This whole shoreline's turning

into the Gulf of Sorrento.

Buddy! Turn it down!

Been waiting long?

Sorry, I was interviewing divorce lawyers.

That's why I always ask myself,

"Is it worth it financially?"

You and Ginny are the old married couple.

Marriage can be very hard work

if both aren't pulling that load.

I was wondering, why the delay?

I was gonna call you.

You're not gonna be happy.

I'm out.

Whacking a boss is bad for business.

- And now that he's settled...

- We can weather it.

It's not just the internal upheaval.

Mr. and Mrs. John Q. America,

by and large, they sit still for our shit.

So, people get ripped off,

they figure it's not them.

But if it's the fucking O.K. Corral out there...

the Feds take heat.

- This is very disappointing.

- I know.

But he's an old man.

You're gonna get your chance soon enough.

Don't go into coaching, Tony.

It's not your long suit.

- What I was gonna say...

- Tomorrow, I go in to work.

"Creeps on this petty pace."

And I take orders from him again?

Or that disgusting, fucking,

cocksucker idiot son of his?

- I shouldn't be hearing that.

- Really?

What I was gonna say was...

it's a major step...

but if you wanna do it,

without me as a partner...

you do what you gotta do.

I will never, ever reveal any conversation

we ever had.

The thing is, we had those conversations.

Your mouth was moving along with mine.

We just go back about our business

at the Esplanade, like it never happened?

- That would be the healthy choice.

- Healthy for who?

Why the fuck would I ever trust somebody

who'd leave me holding my cock like this?

- I shouldn't have heard that either.

- There you go.

There's the fucking problem.

I still consider you a dear friend.

They're actually moored about two and

a half centimeters away from the fire.

So, they are finally making

a little bit of an impact with their buckets.

I didn't know you were in the house.

- Just stopped by to pick up a few things.

- Fine.

The geeks are really making

some progress now!

Turn that off and come here.

Got something to say to your mom.

I might as well tell you at the same time.

- It's almost over.

- Now.

I've been thinking about things,

me living out there.

I've decided it's probably not a good idea.

What's going on?

I was just telling everybody...

it's probably better

if I don't live here anymore.

Because I wanted to stay in there with you?

I won't ask.

- I just got pissed off.

- He asked to live with you?

No, A.J. Come here.

That's not why.

- Where are you gonna go?

- Don't worry about it.

You should go back to counseling.

It's better this way.

He's making the right decision.

He'll get a place, you will go and visit.

It'll be better, you'll see.

You guys could still get

back together maybe. Right?

Yeah, sure.

We're still close.

God, is there nothing to eat in this house?

Be careful.

I'll be at the Plaza.

Well, I don't drink anymore.

I freeze it now and I eat it like a Popsicle.

A drink never hurt nobody. You remember

the great words of Joe E. Lewis.

He says, "You're not drunk if you can lay

on the floor without holding on."

Fucking gangster asshole!

I'll call the police.

He'll just turn it down again

when the police boat comes.

The coast guard.

He can keep paying

those $200 fines forever, Alan!

You've gotta let it go, Alan!

Give him his money! God!